October 15, 2008

Wanted, Starring Angelina Jolie, Is The Greatest Movie Of Our Generation

wanted2_150.jpg


And if you dispute that, I am coming over to your house, pants down and guns blazing.

If this looks like the kind of movie you'd like, then you're in luck, it delivers.

If it doesn't look like anything you'd ever like, then you probably want to buy a copy of The Women, a movie so dangerously vacuous it carries a  Black Box Warning for Suicidality in Children and Adolescents.  It's the movie Mick Jagger would produce if he he simultaneously hit male menopause and a truckload of opaku dung and then got down to producing, which, believe it or not, is almost exactly what happened, except that it wasn't male menopause.


Womenposter08.jpg
women.JPG

The best thing that can happen to you while watching The Women is cataracts.



AREN'T YOU BEING JUST A TAD JUDGMENTAL?



The-Women_l.jpg


No.




SO WHY IS WANTED SO GOOD?  IS ANGELINA JOLIE NAKED IN IT?

Well, no, not really.  There's a brief shot of her from the back getting out of a bathtub, but she is so heavily tattooed that she looks like Venom got her.

angelina jolie naked.JPG


WHAT?


Hey, if you don't like the reference go back to The Women.

SO WHAT MAKES THIS MOVIE SO GOOD?

I didn't say it was good, I said it was GREAT.  It contains all the elements a pathologically narcissistic and emasculated generation of men need to make themselves feel good again, without marijuana OR facebook.  Let's review:


1. Subtext:  "You are special."

By "subtext," I of course mean "subtitle."  While to the great unwashed it appears that you are a lowly account manager in a cubicle with a cheating girlfriend and no self-respect, in fact you are much, much more than that, like, for example, a mystical assassin with the ability to shoot curveball bullets.

Importantly, your specialness comes not from effort, work, emotion, intellect, perseverance, or concentration, but from just being you-- in this case, being from the lineage of a 1000 years of special people.  All you had to do is get born!  Thanks feudalism!


2.  Campbell/Lucas mythology of the heroic son unaware of his special lineage

You know how your Dad sucks?  Well, he's not really your Dad.   Your real Dad was a great hero, not an HVAC repairman, didn't your mother tell you?  His sword is out back under a rock. 

In this movie, he was a child when his Dad left (to be a mystical assassin) but, keeping to the mythology, was closely but secretly monitoring his son's development (in this case by moving in across the street and buying a telescope.)

3.  Genetics is an untapped endless reservoir of possibility.


You know how you suck?  Turns out it's genetic, but don't Mapquest cyanide plants just yet.  Once you unlock your genes, you'll be able to do almost anything, including but not limited to shooting curveball bullets and slowing down time.  I know, it's far in the future.  But until then you can keep yourself from a suicide/pregnancy pact by remaining optimistic: the best scientists in the secret labs of Asia are working on it.  In the meantime, why not test out your awesomeness by wrestling pumas?

4.  Hot woman with amazing special talents and abilities chooses you.


Awesome.  The Fifth Element, Alias, Ultraviolet, Underworld, Resident Evil-- all these movies represent the demasculinization of a decade of twenty-somethings, but lacked the most important element: you.  This was fixed with Wanted.  Angelina Jolie has all the necessary special powers and abilities, yet she chose you.

wanted_02_502.jpg


Back in the day-- e.g. the six thousand years preceding 1992-- the man had to earn the girl's interest/love/vagina by doing something extraordinary, or at least trying to be extraordinary, or at least being a good person, or at least paying her.  Now, thanks to a lifetime of Captain Crunch, Coldplay,  and institutionalized narcissism, a man can hope that a woman with special powers will want him precisely because these special powers allow her to see how awesome he really is.  Not what he is now, of course, but, you know, what he really is.   You know.  Look past the XBox, you damn bitch. 

Key point: even if he doesn't ultimately live up to his potential, he still got to make out with her.  Nice!

5. You get to kill people.

Awesome, again.  You know, back in the day (see above) all special abilities were to be used for saving people, and killing was always the last resort, and only to be done under the specific direction of John Woo or one of the remaining Wachowski Brothers.  As the Bible teaches us, it's not murder if you're doing a back flip.

double guns.jpgIf a man doth close both eyes, and raise both guns, so does his aim grow more true.-- Galat 25:3


But in this movie, killing is the point.  Never mind that there's no evidence that the targets are actually bad people-- that's a decision that Fate makes.  Not metaphorically, I mean literally Fate makes it, and it lets you know by sending you a message in binary code written by a... magic loom.  Look, if Angelina Jolie is going to like you, some people are going to need to die to balance out the universe.
 

6. Hot chick who saves you also kills people.


wanted_angelina on car.JPG


Madonna, whore and death instinct, all in high def!  Thanks Freud!


7.  Mystical manmade machines.

If your iPhone suddenly sends you a message in a binary code that says you need to kill John Smith, you're going to think back if you took your Zyprexa.  Why?  Because no one tells an iPhone owner what to do except Steve Jobs, got it?

But if something with no technology in it at all-- say, a loom-- tells you you need to kill John Smith, you have no choice but to pull up your pants and get your Sig Sauer.  It's totally logical that God can influence a loom-- been doing that since Arachne-- but clearly He's too old to understand all that new fangled technology.  The last time He did was in Stephen King's Processor of the Gods, which, if I'm not mistaken, was an IBM PC.  Look, he's writing out the Book Of Names by hand.

What does it say about our time when we are more in awe of mechanical objects then we are of technology that uses quantum mechanics to operate?

8.  You get to yell "FACE" to your ex-girlfriend.

I did have one question.  If Wesley is such a loser before he learns of his specialness,  how did he manage to get this girl as a girlfriend in the first place?

kristin Hager.jpg  


I'd like to see that movie, please.

That aside-- and maybe I'm different-- but if I was able to bend space and time at will, and I learned I was the first lieutenant of Fate itself, and it was my responsibility to emotionlessly execute specific human beings in order to restore balance to the universe, then obviously I'm definitely going to want to find my ex-girlfriend and show her what she missed out on, right? Why else even have those powers?  Does that make me a bad person?


9. Breaking the Fourth Wall.  

Nothing in a movie speaks to a viewer more than actually speaking to a viewer, and that's what this movie does. As it ends, Wesley looks up from his rifle scope, turns to the camera and asks, "This is me taking back control of my life. What the fuck have you done lately?"   Well?   "Not killing people" is, of course, a loser's answer, so don't pick it.  Correct answers include, "waiting for my powers to kick in" and "not learning jujitsu because I'll be handed those skills all at once when they are necessary" and "waiting for Angelina to swing buy with a pizza" and "masturbating." 



















Comments

I had heard good things abo... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:38 AM | Posted by yoyoma: | Reply

I had heard good things about your website. So I linked to it and this was the article that popped up. So I won't be visiting your website alot now. If you thought this was a good movie, you are a simple, simple person. And I had heard you were intelligent. This movie was cliche in almost every way imaginable. It was pretty much a WWE match in movie format, targeted at people who are simple minded, and easily amused. I mean the movie is easy to enjoy, until you actually realize how trashy it is. Mild mannered guy finds out he has super amazing powers and life changes and battles secret societies and his dad is a good/bad guy and whatever who cares. It is so transparent. Anyways good luck with your website. Try watching movies with a more critical eye from now on. Later!

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Hahaha! Good critique. </... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:43 AM | Posted by Paul: | Reply

Hahaha! Good critique.

I avoided the movie like the plague after reading the comic book it was based on. Same problems there, only with the added bonus of corruption of childhood favorite super-heroes and villains. That universe's version of Batman is now dead (and humiliated) of course, his enemy "Clayface" is literally made of poop and renamed "Shithead," etc. Clever stuff. Shows you the nuanced mind from which this product originally sprang.

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Re: yoyomaWow, not... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:45 AM | Posted by Paul: | Reply

Re: yoyoma

Wow, nothing gets by this one.

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Re: yoyomaI sugges... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:48 AM | Posted by pinkpillsanity: | Reply

Re: yoyoma

I suggest you look up the definition of satire sometime.

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comedy gold... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:54 AM | Posted by bg: | Reply

comedy gold

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Re: yoyomawow... j... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:55 AM | Posted by bg: | Reply

Re: yoyoma

wow... just wow

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Greetings, earthlings!... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 12:16 PM | Posted by Midas: | Reply

Greetings, earthlings!

I watch gladly how you've treated my siblings Wesley & yoyoma with respect. I will bestow stelar benefits upon you...

[LMFHO! i.e. Laughing My Fine Head Off]

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I want to know how old Last... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 12:25 PM | Posted by Phil McCubbin: | Reply

I want to know how old Lasty is.

There are so many cultural clues- must be between 35 and 45- but I'm guessing 40?

"FACE!" indeed.


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this really made my morning... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 12:26 PM | Posted by demodenise: | Reply

this really made my morning, and also reminded me that it's been entirely too long since I've had a good laugh.

(and I like the comments on the front page, too.)

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Hey, why bag on The Fift... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 12:46 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Hey, why bag on The Fifth Element? The hero's not "chosen", he's just in the right place at the right time, and it's established early on that he's a man of resources, the last surviving member of his blah blah blah. The female lead is an ass-kicker, but then so is he, and in the end he saves her. It's a big, loud cartoon, but it's hardly emasculating. It's part of a long tradition of Saturday matinees about a drifting cowboy who saves the ranch of the plucky widow from the evil cattle baron.

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@yoyomaI love you.... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 12:53 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Nick Caler: | Reply

@yoyoma

I love you.

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re: yoyomareckless... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 2:26 PM | Posted by whalefarmer: | Reply

re: yoyoma

reckless he was but learn he will

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Alone, I think you are spen... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 2:50 PM | Posted by marcia: | Reply

Alone, I think you are spending too much time alone.

If you show up at my house with your pants down and end up masturbating, watch out for the 13 cats. They think anything you wave in the air is for their amusement.

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I'm sorry to face this, but... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 3:01 PM | Posted by Trei: | Reply

I'm sorry to face this, but this is one of the best you've written. it may seem trivial, but this delivers at a more accessible level (not "up there" with the rest of your writings).

ok, yoyo may prove I'm wrong, but then again - yoyo may well be a genius is his? own right; that comment may be satire, too ;-)

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Oh my God, the Last Psychia... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 3:05 PM | Posted by AK: | Reply

Oh my God, the Last Psychiatrist arrives on my doorstep packing heat, with his pants down?

I am actually fascinated. I'll buy a bottle of rum, just for you.

Just bring me a scrip for Celexa, please, pretty please?

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Excellent at detailing the ... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 3:30 PM | Posted by David: | Reply

Excellent at detailing the many levels of mythic idiocy being vomited at the adolescent male (now aged 13-43). And hats off to marketing. Only Hollywood could elevate an anorexic, botoxed, breast-augmented, face zombie into the outer reaches of cinematic goddess-hood. Witness Angela's emaciated right arm and shoulder in the top-most picture. Angela n'est pas jolie.

Ending with 9. Breaking the Fourth Wall ... inspired. "This is me taking back control of my life." Well, yes ... I take control of my life by listening to this magic loom, see? And it tells me to kill and I do, see? And that's my definition of control, see? Stand back ... it's the dawning of the age of psychopathic hero.

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Didn't the age of the psych... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 4:33 PM | Posted, in reply to David's comment, by demodenise: | Reply

Didn't the age of the psychopathic hero dawn with Fight Club?

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What about Mad Max, as in M... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 4:43 PM | Posted, in reply to demodenise's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

What about Mad Max, as in Mad Max and the Thunder Dome? Wasn't he a psychopathic hero about 20 or 30 years ago? Everything's been recycled these days.

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This was... different, and ... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 4:46 PM | Posted by Diego: | Reply

This was... different, and incredidbly interesting.

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Ahh. Good point. Dawn of th... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 4:58 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by demodenise: | Reply

Ahh. Good point. Dawn of the neo-psychopathic-hero era, then?

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It dawns repeatedly. Like s... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 5:41 PM | Posted by spriteless: | Reply

It dawns repeatedly. Like some sort of cycle, like day and night. Punk's ideals have to keep ahead of the people selling it. Right now it's falling behind, so I'll just not buy.

Must be why they don't seem to be targeting me very well.

Now a butch-dyke narcissist action hero/killer dating Angelina Jolie for no good reason. :P

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So, uhm, Spriteless... I gu... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 6:41 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

So, uhm, Spriteless... I guess your answer would be "masturbate" to the movies in your head?

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This was incredibly funny. ... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 8:47 PM | Posted by Lexi: | Reply

This was incredibly funny. It also reminds me of your critique of that beatnik book, On the Road by Jack K.

Anyway, when do you think the wussification of the American Male started? You indicate the 90's but that might have been a symptom of something from earlier? Jack's book may be another indicator.

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I think the wussification s... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 9:19 PM | Posted by AK: | Reply

I think the wussification set in when children were no longer allowed to play unsupervised and create thier own recreation.

Remember back in the day when we used to walk and or bicycle to and from school?

And when vacant lots were available and kids could create ball games themselves with no adult supervision?

When that ended, and whole sale supervision of kids came into play, there were fewer opportunites to go off and create ones own adventures--and find out, at a young age, what it meant to take risks, and who your friends were, vs the ones who would split.

My mom and her brothers used to get involved in all sorts of foul and funny adventures, back in the 30s and 40s. Mom told me Grandma would tell them go play on the freeway, and not come back till supper. (Especially if she was up to her elbows baking a dessert and too many small fry were crowding the kitchen and getting on her nerves).

I didnt get into nearly the kind of trouble my uncles did, but at least I got to walk to school. I thought insects were excellent and brought them with me. I didnt mean to start scenes, but they'd escape from my desk.

I couldnt understand why the other kids, (including many of the boys) panicked. I sat there wondering at the ripe old age of 10 why they had such trouble appreciating the better things in life.

But now, if you're a child, you're as heavily supervised as a bunch of chained up prisoners in the sheriffs or US Marshal's transport van. No chance to walk around, find a dead pigeon and take it to school, thinking you'll learn taxidermy from a book when you get home and preserve the thing before bedtime.

Nope. These days, if you're a minor, you get your entertainment from the same standardized gadget your classmates use, your butt is shipped to and from school in some glassed in vehicle, and you cant even pick your nose without some adult getting on your case.

Ugh.

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*applause from the peanut g... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 9:54 PM | Posted by Ash: | Reply

*applause from the peanut gallery*

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Thank you to all who lik... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 10:05 PM | Posted by Alone: | Reply

Thank you to all who liked it and commented here, made my day.

But what about some Diggs or Reddits!?!

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Excellent review. Interest... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 10:48 PM | Posted by Esther: | Reply

Excellent review. Interestingly, I think you could swap this review with one for "Legends of the Fall" and you'd hardly have to change any of the words.

So, I won't be wasting my time watching "Wanted," thanks for wasting yours.

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Brilliant. I would add that... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:11 PM | Posted by Jiggy: | Reply

Brilliant. I would add that this is similar to the plot from Chronicles of Narnia. The living embodiment of Jesus Christ as a lion tells a bunch of spoiled, selfish kids that they are destined to be royalty for no particular reason and they also know how to sword fight with monsters.

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dugg...<a href="http... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:26 PM | Posted by bryon: | Reply

dugg...
Digg: Wanted w/ Angelina Jolie Is The Greatest Move Of Our Time

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I'm a Psych NP at a CMHC an... (Below threshold)

October 15, 2008 11:35 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

I'm a Psych NP at a CMHC and your blog makes my life better. Thank you.

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dugg!. . . all of two times... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 12:15 AM | Posted, in reply to bryon's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

dugg!. . . all of two times so far.

alone, are you sure your readers are actually digg and reddit users?

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oops, that was mine. works ... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 12:17 AM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by demodenise: | Reply

oops, that was mine. works better when I remember to put my name on it, huh?

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"Fight Club" was essentiall... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 3:27 AM | Posted, in reply to demodenise's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

"Fight Club" was essentially a remake of "Bad Influence", a James Spader, Rob Lowe movie. And in both cases, the protagonist ends up rejecting his nihilistic alter-ego. In that sense they're both rather conventional morality plays, although many fans of "Fight Club" seem to have missed the message.

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No, I'm not sure they ar... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 9:50 AM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Alone: | Reply

No, I'm not sure they are Digg and reddit users. Come on, people, sign up-- traffic and donations are the lifeline of this blog, pick one...

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I'm not sure what Digg and ... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 11:03 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

I'm not sure what Digg and reddit are, to be honest.

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We post your stuff on reddi... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 12:15 PM | Posted by phill: | Reply

We post your stuff on reddit, but no one upmods it. Unless you're talking about white trash taking their kids to shitty movies, of course.

http://www.reddit.com/search?q=thelastpsychiatrist&x=0&y=0

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Dear Last Psychiatrist, you... (Below threshold)

October 16, 2008 2:24 PM | Posted by AK: | Reply

Dear Last Psychiatrist, you are right. Angelina Jolie's arm looks emaciated.

What's rotten is that is from a movie publicity poster--so a lot of people are going to get distorted mirroring concerning body image.

That kind of skinniness is UGLY--and incompatible with good health.

How in fuck can you carry groceries, or maintain bone health when underweight to that degree?

And there's little reserve of muscle mass in event of illness, accident or sudden and heavy emotional stress.

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I'm more of a "delicious" i... (Below threshold)

October 17, 2008 2:46 AM | Posted by Lexi: | Reply

I'm more of a "delicious" it kind of gal. So, I did that.

Also, now I wanted to see both The Women and Wanted. I'm a masochist.

AK, actually I don't remember back in the day when we could do whatever. I wasn't even allowed to take the bus, in LA in the 80's and 90's. When I was a senior in college (and probably 25, I was a little old for that) I told my mom I was taking the bus to school and she sounded horrified and scared for me and asked if I needed money. (nevermind the convenience factor).

On the other hand, my bf, who is 6 mos younger than I am, had a child hood similar to the one you described, where he was sent out until sundown and played with his neighbors and ran around in the outdoors without adult supervision, but he grew up in Texas.

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I second the good reviews. ... (Below threshold)

October 17, 2008 11:24 AM | Posted by ME: | Reply

I second the good reviews. This is in the same caliber of posts as the one that made me start reading your blog in the first place (and I don't remember which one that was, at this point). I would post a link on Reddit, but I don't post -- the constant rejection from not having links upmodded is just too much for me these days.

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Dear Lexi, its interesting ... (Below threshold)

October 18, 2008 10:56 AM | Posted by AK: | Reply

Dear Lexi, its interesting the differences you describe. I grew up in LA, but had my free range childhood in the mid to late 1960s. Our neighborhood was middle class, but there was still
some Midwestern common sense. I ran almost as free as your boyfriend and I dont recall anyone getting into any trouble--and this was Hollywood. I didnt even hear the F word until I was 12--and went to the public schools. My parents were not uptight, either.

Your boyfriend was lucky. I bet he knows his inner resources a lot better than kids whose play was micromanaged, every waking moment.

Once, at a party, I met a girl who was younger than I was, who ran free in Arizona much like you describe your boyfriend doing.

She said she ate live grasshoppers with some friends.

'Eeeewww!' I wailed, 'Why did you do that?'

'We dared each other. And all my playmates were boys. You just ate grasshoppers if someone thought it was a good idea.'

At least my friend knew she was hardy enough to eat bugs and not get sick. That sort of thing has to build confidence.

One friend told me that when he was 14, he decided he knew how to drive the family car. So he'd sneak out of the house, with the keys, while the grownups slept, and go driving that car down the highway in the fog. All went well until he drove it into a ditch.

Fuuuuuck.

I think that is when his old man forced him to do ROTC for 3 years. My pal hated ROTC and deliberately swished like a homo when marching. It took three years of his working the instructors nerves before he got himself kicked out of ROTC. He's been married for years to the same lady, and after torturing his parents by being a hippie, is now a first class LCSW therapist.

But another guy I know had a friend who was much more clever, back when the two of them were 14. They'd wait until the parents were out of the house. Then my buddy's pal would go to the garage, use chalk to mark the exact position of the car's wheels on the pavement.

They'd then drive that car around town, have a grand time, then slip it back to the garage, reposition the wheels to match the chalk marks, then erase the marks.

They never got caught.

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Great face... but she's so ... (Below threshold)

October 18, 2008 10:59 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Great face... but she's so thin it's distracting at best, totally un-sexy at worst.

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I suppose it is neither her... (Below threshold)

October 19, 2008 8:14 AM | Posted by B: | Reply

I suppose it is neither here nor there, but in reference to her skinniness: Ms. Jolie's mother died of cancer just prior to the filming of this movie. Ms. Jolie acknowledged in a NY Times article that she did the movie as a type of catharsis (lots of physical action, few words). I doubt she was in top physical form to begin with, much less when filming finished.

Great post, anon.

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Just a practical question..... (Below threshold)

October 19, 2008 11:52 AM | Posted by AK: | Reply

Just a practical question...how on earth can a person run around
fighting bad guys with his or her pants down?

With my luck, I'd fall flat on my face, break my front teeth and lose control of whatever firearm I was carrying.

Note to Last Psychiatrist:

I am still waiting for you to show up on my doorstep with your trousers down, and an RX for Celexa.

(just kidding)

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AK, you're aiming too low. ... (Below threshold)

October 19, 2008 5:51 PM | Posted, in reply to AK's comment, by demodenise: | Reply

AK, you're aiming too low. You want Alone to show up on your doorstep, trousers down, with six months worth of Celexa samples.

:)

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No, I am nto aiming too low... (Below threshold)

October 20, 2008 10:43 AM | Posted by AK: | Reply

No, I am nto aiming too low at all.

I was a wreck until I started Celexa.

Actually, it is one of the great mysteries of physics how people can go running around gangbanging, with those pants hanging down so low.

How do they keep from tripping and falling?

With my terminal klutzitis, I'd never be able to do that.

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Yoyoma:Seriously?<... (Below threshold)

November 5, 2008 12:14 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Rob: | Reply

Yoyoma:

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ THE FIRST FEW LINES?

When my powers kick in, I'm going to fuck you up something rotten.

I love you on the Cello, you fuck.

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Holy shit. I was thinking a... (Below threshold)

November 6, 2008 8:31 PM | Posted by Me: | Reply

Holy shit. I was thinking all of these things (of course not as eloquently) the minute I got out of this movie. And my friends took until the next day to realize how shitty it was. And they didn't even catch on to the subtexts. So I am special after all, right?

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I enjoyed the review, but j... (Below threshold)

November 8, 2008 2:52 AM | Posted by JKM: | Reply

I enjoyed the review, but just one question: how does presenting an ass-kicking female hero represent the demasculinization of young men?
Are gender roles a zero-sum game?

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Ok first. yoyoma u really h... (Below threshold)

December 8, 2008 2:05 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Jesse: | Reply

Ok first. yoyoma u really have no idea what your talking about do u?
Next JKM In traditional american society their aren't supposed to be ass kicking females because that would mean that young men aren't as bad ass as they think they should be. It is showing that women can be men's equals meaning the classical masculine man is becoming more and more obsolete.

And on the review: This is an incredible review. I love it. Its very critical but very true.

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So should I be proud of the... (Below threshold)

January 2, 2009 1:25 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

So should I be proud of the fact that I took my girlfriend to this movie, we both enjoyed it immensely, and we're spending our New Years Day in bed together cackling at your review?

Spot on. ("It ees vonderful, she says.")


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Of course movies like this ... (Below threshold)

July 22, 2009 3:18 AM | Posted by brian: | Reply

Of course movies like this one speak to the masses of us nerd-ified white males...society has made us what we are today. People of color do not want to compete on the same playing field as america's established norm members...they want us to be less so they are the norm...those enhanced with estrogen have for ages been shrinking the marble bag of us cavemen to domesticate us until something goes bump in the night. While each faction of society scrambles to convince the competition to be less the whole dance is driven by the purse string of distraction. Please let us slink into to dark theater for an hour or two and let us pretend that YOUR insecurities have not pluck each and every curley hair from our tender parts. I will listen to your harping ignorance, I will not use the N-word, I will pretend that what is important to you is also important to me, I will not pick-up the stick and pummel you as you desicrate me and mine...just keep your fucking mouth shut during the movie so I can pretnd that I have not lost myself to a society of ovaries that think they have a fucking clue what a man is.
Besides, there is always some good and some bad in every book, every movie, every conversation...focus on the good parts and turn that critical eye on a mirror.

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I can appreciate the critic... (Below threshold)

August 13, 2009 10:50 AM | Posted by Johnny: | Reply

I can appreciate the criticism of this movie, but I'm still not entirely convinced that the author DIDN'T enjoy it. I certainly can't counter any of the points presented, but I can, however, sit down and enjoy this movie. Not, perhaps, one of my proudest selections.

~J

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The comic book is morally r... (Below threshold) As it is written in the bib... (Below threshold)

March 22, 2010 10:03 PM | Posted by ed-hardy: | Reply

As it is written in the bible the book of Mathew24th chapter, they will say iam Jesus i will do more than what he did,so bible is true ,don’t believe like this people better to stop watching the T.v and start reading the bible and prayed hardy bags purses

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thank you for sharing with ... (Below threshold)

September 3, 2010 2:50 AM | Posted by louis vuitton small ring agenda refill: | Reply

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I know this is late, but ho... (Below threshold)

October 26, 2010 6:04 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I know this is late, but how did you miss that this was a joke?

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Two things:1. Thi... (Below threshold)

November 12, 2010 5:31 PM | Posted by Ash: | Reply

Two things:

1. This movie is very, very different from the comic. The characters and motivations are all different, etc.

2. I thought this movie was a stealth parody in the way Fight Club was a stealth parody, i.e. subtly criticizing of the values it purportedly affirms by being really over-the-top. I thought the end scene ("i.e. What the fuck have you done lately?") was the only authentic scene.

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Are you trolling? You have ... (Below threshold)

June 3, 2011 4:09 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Are you trolling? You have to be trolling unless you really are this dense.

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Assuming you're talking to ... (Below threshold)

June 3, 2011 4:40 PM | Posted by Ash: | Reply

Assuming you're talking to me, no, I'm not trolling. The comic book is definitely different from the movie. And while I'm not sure if I agree with my judgment of the last scene six months ago, I still read the movie as parody. Predicting the future through minor flaws in cloth? I really doubt it was meant to be taken seriously.

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(read the posted in reply t... (Below threshold)

June 10, 2011 11:25 PM | Posted, in reply to Ash's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

(read the posted in reply to)

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Various people in all count... (Below threshold)

June 11, 2011 12:11 PM | Posted by JILLLynn25: | Reply

Various people in all countries receive the loans from various creditors, because it is easy.

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This is easily one of the b... (Below threshold)

April 3, 2012 3:47 AM | Posted by DGS: | Reply

This is easily one of the best. "See PAST the Xbox!"

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wussification of humanity. ... (Below threshold)

June 8, 2013 10:54 PM | Posted, in reply to Lexi's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

wussification of humanity. A while ago.

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Lol. That's not an empty ty... (Below threshold)

January 3, 2014 2:20 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Lol. That's not an empty type. I literally laughed out loud. I know it's the first comment and you're not visiting this website anymore... but the review was as sarcastic as it was deep. Unfortunately, you haven't read anything else by TLP so you don't get it. Wanted is GREAT because its for this generation... who is effectively being molded into narcissists due to movies like this. I thought it was Decent. Not my favorite, but full of enough meat to be "cool". But TLP always opens my eyes to the true effect movies have/should have had/intended to have on people.
He is right. Just another narcissist promoting MATRIX film that convices young men that it's perfectly ok to be worthless and not try to do anything with your life... because like he said: It'll be handed to you.

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[url=http://www.softassembl... (Below threshold)

March 19, 2014 4:42 PM | Posted by cheap Super Amazing: | Reply

[url=http://www.softassembly.com/Super-Amazing.html]Super Amazing voucher[/url].

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This article was sarcastic.... (Below threshold)

July 19, 2014 10:41 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Rivka: | Reply

This article was sarcastic. Like you, this blog author recogised this movie for the lousy thing that it is.

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I guess sarcasm isn't popul... (Below threshold)

December 16, 2014 10:33 PM | Posted, in reply to yoyoma's comment, by Atarii: | Reply

I guess sarcasm isn't popular where you are from?

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Baawwwwwww..went the... (Below threshold)

January 4, 2015 9:57 AM | Posted, in reply to Ash's comment, by lulzy: | Reply

Baawwwwwww
..went the dyslexic fanboy

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