August 29, 2009

District 9

The only thing I learned from two viewings of this movie is that South Africa is the stupidest person in the world.

I know hating this is like hating Sophie's Choice in that it brands me as some sort of anti-intellectual white supremacist, as opposed to an intellectual white supremacist, but this movie was so maddeningly stupid I actually had to leave early to light up a cigarette and stab out my eyes. Then I threw myself in front of a Prius. 

"But the CGI is awesome." It was awesome in Tron, for its time, too.  If you take out the CGI, you're left with a movie written by Roger Hargreaves about characters whose behavior and choices make no sense at all, ever.


mr. baffling.JPG


II. Going For Oscar

But reviews of the movie have been overwhelmingly positive, not "awesome fight scenes" positive but "scathing social satire" and "indictment of man's inhumanity to man" positive, which makes me wonder if they saw a different movie?  Or did I miss the real meat of the film  because I left early when I realized this was not the sequel to V The Final Battle?

So I decided to try again, I told myself that there was going to be porn at the end of it, took off my pants, and watched.  No, I didn't go back to the theatre; fortunately, the major studios have joined together and created a website called "The Pirate Bay" which allows you to watch a movie for free before you decide if you want to buy it from Amazon for 4 bucks.

pirate bay.JPG


On the second viewing I was able to see what all the fuss was about: this is the kind of movie  the Oscars love.


Oscar Loves: Innocence Lost

The movie is about a race of aliens who do not speak English but do, unusually, speak Bantu, who park their spaceship above the city of Johannesburg and do nothing.  The U.S., Russians, and Chinese choose not to get involved with this spaceship, respecting South Africa's sovereign borders and trusting them to be the Earth's ambassadors.

The central story concerns a little alien boy, whom the humans disparagingly refer to as "District 9," and his father, District 8, who escape to the set of Slumdog Millionaire and look for scraps to use to build a spaceship which will fly them back up to the mother ship.  The kid has the technological know-how to build such a spaceship and later pilot it.

However, his father has to explain to him what "fuel" is, and where it goes.  That conversation occurs while the kid is actually synthesizing the fuel in their basement lab.

Also, the kid doesn't know how many moons Earth has.  You could say that since he's not from Earth he can't be expected to know how many moons Earth has, but I'm not from France and I know how many moons France has.  If it was his father who didn't know, I could speculate maybe he's nearsighted or doesn't know how to count past zero, but the kid was born on earth, he's been here all his life.

At first I had thought this was a plot hole; but on second viewing I realized that the kid is meant to be retarded.  Not full on retarded, not Down's Syndrome or Brad Pitt retarded, but Forrest Gump retarded.  In other words, Academy Award winning retarded.  Smart enough to build a spaceship but retarded enough that women will secretly want a man like him, right after they finish getting boned by a football team.  This, of course, is a pointed critique of the Bush Administration.


Oscar Loves: Racism

Everyone knows that this movie is complex allegory about apartheid.  What they may not know is that since target audience for the movie is the Academy of Motion Pictures,  the movie delivers this message with the subtlety of getting bludgeoned with a pizza oven.

Or so I thought, at first; but then I saw the magic of the movie's subtext.  The movie is a cinephile's Finnegan's Wake, a movie full of dream-like connections waiting for a postmodern deconstruction, or two guys with some weed.

The aliens, who in the movie like to eat cat food, represent blacks.  If this thematic conceit startles you, you're going to want to take a Xanax before you hear the rest of it.  These aliens are descended from the original Predator alien, a Rastafarian originally named Snoop Dogg, originally played by action star Jean Claude Van Damme, who, of course, is originally from South Africa.  He quit the movie because the mask was too heavy, and the role went to a black guy named Bigfoot who then died of AIDS. (1)

predator-snoop-jean.JPG

The South Africans find that the aliens' weapons can only be used by those with alien DNA; but they also quickly discover that their own DNA makes them hate black people, in this case aliens. So they decide to herd them into a ghetto and fence it off.  The writers of the movie cleverly mask this devastating critique of the Bush Administration by naming the ghetto "Gaza."

"District 9" is an allusion to the 9th district of New Orleans submerged by the movie Hurricane Katrina almost exactly 4 years ago; for this reason the aliens in the movie are referred to as "prawns."  As everyone knows, prawns are delicious; this is why some of the black people in the movie try to eat them.  This entire subtext is a blistering critique of the Bush Administration who, as early as 2001, had advocated for eating Katrina victims. As the President of the Academy of Motion Pictures once said, "George Bush hates black people.  Especially delicious Iraqis."


kanye hates reality.JPG
The aliens are largely forgotten and ignored in the slum, despite their being, well, aliens, a fact you could be forgiven for assuming would prompt some curiosity.  Not in South Africa.  Blacks there are rarely considered curiosities.  The only reason the South Africans begin worrying about them after 20 years is that the aliens start having sex with their women.  Amazingly, that part isn't a joke.

Oscar Loves: The Secret Purpose of War


Here's a sure-fire plot to get an Oscar nomination: a story about the greedy South Africans, played by America, who try to evict all of the Districts out of their ghetto in order to build a Disneyland, as seen through the eyes of a child.  This bit of eviction nastiness falls to Wikus van der Merwe, played by Blackwater USA (Best Supporting Actor nomination), who is so craven and petty that at one point he turns into a giant robot.  This transformation is a scathing critique of the Bush Administration, who hate robots.

District 8 and 9 have no choice but to turn to the underworld, the "black" market, for the parts they need to build their spaceship.  Because there are absolutely no such criminal gangs anywhere in South Africa, the Districts must travel all the way to Nigeria to find thugs willing to sell them the parts.

All the while, they are relentlessly pursued by Wikus and the Fox News team, who shoot and kill everything in sight just to feel the blood splatter on their faces.  It nourishes them.   They also want to get access to the aliens' weapons, which are infinitely more powerful than human weapons and which are laying around discarded everywhere in Johannesburg.  The Districts themselves never use the weapons that they brought with them from space on their human pursuers, because they are a peaceful race, abhor war, and just want to return to their homeland.  They do, however, throw rocks at them as they're being shot at by machine guns.  Also, one dons a suicide vest and blows himself up in order to kill all the vampires.  I'll admit that I may be confusing this with something I saw on CNN, but it could have happened in this movie, too.  And as anyone with enough weed will tell you, umm... what?  Either way, I think we all know what it says about the Bush Administration.

Oscar Loves: Finales That Make No Sense But Bow To the Political Fashion of The Academy That Particular Year


In this movie, not only do many humans die-- which prompted one not at all young but in all likelihood retarded moviegoer who had stumbled in from the next door Mrs. Field's Cookies to agree, "blast those motherfuckers!"-- not only are all humans depicted as corrupt Halliburton employees deserving of and receiving of death, but there is only one human in the whole movie who displays any goodness or nobility-- but he does so only after he becomes an alien.  Think about this.  I wish that there was a joke in there somewhere, but there isn't.



(1) You're not going to believe this, but that paragraph is almost completely true.


------------

http://twitter.com/thelastpsych
















Comments

I am the person Blackwater ... (Below threshold)

August 29, 2009 6:20 PM | Posted by wikus, aka USA: | Reply

I am the person Blackwater of whom you speak and it is good to see there are some people who understand the Jean-Claude Van Damme of it all. Well done.

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this is so funny.... (Below threshold)

August 29, 2009 6:56 PM | Posted by mel g: | Reply

this is so funny.

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Yes, you saw a different mo... (Below threshold)

August 29, 2009 11:32 PM | Posted by Jason: | Reply

Yes, you saw a different movie to the rest of us. I think you need to watch it again! Maybe your post is complete sarcasm, I can't really tell.

The name of the movie is a reference to District 6, where the story played out in real life:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/District_Six,_Cape_Town

I also got a Palestine-Israeli vibe. But i think the director was trying to be ironic. Black South African soldiers where abusing the aliens, like how white south African soldiers were abusing the black people in District 6 only decades earlier.

Prawns refer to a large locust type insect only found in Johannesburg.

Those guys where not a Blackwater (Xe) type organization, they were based on Executive Outcomes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Outcomes

Despite being portrayed as bad guys, in reality EO could have done a lot of good in Africa and maybe even prevented a genocide if the UN had not interfered.

There are hordes of Nigerian illegal immigrants in South Africa. It is not implausible that they controlled District 9. I am not sure what statement the director was making by casting the Nigerians as gangsters. Recently there has been a lot of violence against illegal immigrants in South Africa.


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Why the relatively low rati... (Below threshold)

August 29, 2009 11:35 PM | Posted by NosnhoJ Divad: | Reply

Why the relatively low ratings? Are we not human? Do we not snark? WTF! This post is brilliant. I am almost entirely rendered. Speechless. In Gaza. BTW ... the bush misadministration did NOT hate robots. They hated polishing the robots. After all those turds ... they were so done with polishing. And here was the biggest one of all.

Courage.

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Sometimes you are beyond co... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 12:01 AM | Posted by Acorn: | Reply

Sometimes you are beyond comprehension.

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Why was the Down syndrome r... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 8:11 AM | Posted by Dan: | Reply

Why was the Down syndrome reference necessary for the review?

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What is ironic about that s... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 9:28 AM | Posted by OS November: | Reply

What is ironic about that second to last paragraph in your review is that you too display no goodness or nobility. There was no reason to insult people with Down syndrome and it is very hurtful to them, their parents, and friends, etc who read this.

Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -6 (8 votes cast)
I rather enjoyed District 9... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 11:03 AM | Posted by Dim Bulb: | Reply

I rather enjoyed District 9 and yet I am only slightly dim-witted.

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Whenever you write about we... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 11:03 AM | Posted by Mike: | Reply

Whenever you write about weed you're really brief and snippy, I was wondering if you could do an article where you more fully articulate your opinions on cannabis, medical or recreational.

This is a good review; it's pretty much in line with my cannabis-fueled interpretation of the movie.

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I can't tell who's a troll ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 11:56 AM | Posted by wewewew: | Reply

I can't tell who's a troll and who's just an idiot anymore.

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What is this I don't even</... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 12:33 PM | Posted by Yuri: | Reply

What is this I don't even

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True Blood reference? I wo... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 12:51 PM | Posted by Ernunnos: | Reply

True Blood reference? I would love to hear your take on that.

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In an article that lampoons... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 12:59 PM | Posted by titmouse: | Reply

In an article that lampoons millions, someone takes offense and a clause that links "Down's syndrome" with "retarded"?

If the goal is compassionate care of people with Down's syndrome, cranky over-reaction to the borrowning of medical terms concerned with mental disability for use in a non-medical, humerous context isn't going to help.

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Simultaneous adulated incoh... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 1:28 PM | Posted by unknown: | Reply

Simultaneous adulated incoherence on at least three levels FTW!

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This is hilarious.... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 1:42 PM | Posted by Holly: | Reply

This is hilarious.

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I love it when things happe... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 1:47 PM | Posted, in reply to unknown's comment, by MIke: | Reply

I love it when things happen on "levels"

because it means the person who said it is smart and thorough in their critique

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I find it hilarious everyon... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 2:05 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

I find it hilarious everyone is getting insulted by the downs syndrome reference. The part about "taking your pants off in promise of porn" was okay but god forbid we use a diagnostic sign of downs syndrome as humor.

This kind of hypocrisy is what makes me hate human beings.

BTW, alone, I am scared for life after that masturbation reference. You get used to viewing someone in a certain way (i.e. with a modicum of professionalism) and then, right out of left field, suddenly you are knee deep in encyclopedia dramatica type humor. Ugh! Wut?

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Shoulda read first. Anon 1:... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 2:12 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Shoulda read first. Anon 1:28 said what I was thinking except 10 times better.

Now that I think about it, I bet alone did it on purpose to highlight how meaningless and irrational our responses are (thus, our way of thinking). He talks about blacks, jews, (and as I previously mentioned sex/porn) but OH NOES NOT TEH DOWNS BABIEZ. Fact: people with downs syndrome become adults, they don't stay children forever.
This is the same thing that makes people on the internet freak out over any indication of animal abuse, but barely feel anything when they hear of human atrocities. It's ultimately a self-serving compassion because "cute" kittens (and babies) are kawaiiiii. OMG is this a subtle comment re: narcissism???//

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But is the review a thumbs ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 4:08 PM | Posted by more anonymous than you: | Reply

But is the review a thumbs up or thumbs down?

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The Pirate Bay. Taking off ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 4:40 PM | Posted by Basil Valentine: | Reply

The Pirate Bay. Taking off your pants in promise of porn. As any stoner will tell you "um... what?". But the real highlight for me was "I think we all know what this says about the Bush administration".

Like, you've made some pretty good jokes before, but they were kinda one-off. This is just gold the entire way through.

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My favorite part was "All t... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 5:31 PM | Posted by Anonymouser: | Reply

My favorite part was "All the while, they are relentlessly pursued by Wikus and the Fox News team, who shoot and kill everything in sight just to feel the blood splatter on their faces. It nourishes them." But the relentless critiques of the Bush administration and referring to the two aliens as the Districts were close.

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That's quite a long way to ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 5:38 PM | Posted by robotslave: | Reply

That's quite a long way to go to say "I didn't get the joke," don't you think?

Even if you've never seen an early Peter Jackson film, and don't recognize the cues, your sense of camp should have been firing like a gatling gun from about 5 minutes into the film.

A humble suggestion-- maybe it's time you stopped chaperoning your teenage son to the movies, and let him go with his friends instead?

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"What is ironic about that ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 7:37 PM | Posted by Honorius: | Reply

"What is ironic about that second to last paragraph in your review is that you too display no goodness or nobility. There was no reason to insult people with Down syndrome and it is very hurtful to them, their parents, and friends, etc who read this."

You and every person you represent should not be offended.

This passage was in fact a scathing critique of the Bush administration.

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The filthy critic called. ... (Below threshold)

August 30, 2009 11:32 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

The filthy critic called. He wants his shtick back.

http://www.bigempire.com/filthy/

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i agree with a lot of your ... (Below threshold)

August 31, 2009 1:12 AM | Posted by drugs are fun: | Reply

i agree with a lot of your comments, but i never saw the movie's focus to be on racism, rather it was a redemption story for wikus.

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You are either high or in n... (Below threshold)

August 31, 2009 1:54 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

You are either high or in need of neuroleptic medication... but this is a wonderful piece of subversion, Ionesco would be proud.

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maybe "Alone" isn't one per... (Below threshold)

August 31, 2009 2:03 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by speculating: | Reply

maybe "Alone" isn't one person, but several writers?

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All in favor of HR.1743 Out... (Below threshold)

August 31, 2009 3:03 PM | Posted by Joseph Bergevin: | Reply

All in favor of HR.1743 Outlaw Discrimination, Ennoble Humanity And Make Everything Better Act say aye.
The bill passes.

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Or maybe he's imagining tha... (Below threshold)

August 31, 2009 9:24 PM | Posted by @ speculating: | Reply

Or maybe he's imagining that he's a different writer to improve his creativity.

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LOVED your review.... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 12:16 AM | Posted by paula: | Reply

LOVED your review.

Let's see--- We can't say N%$*er,
We can't say RETARD;
We can't say Fag%T,

But we can still say CUNT.
Hummmmmm.

I say freedom of fucking speech!
I am a liberal and i am sick to death of censorship.
Did you retards not comprehend George Carlin? Guess not.

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You're overthinking this. I... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 9:12 AM | Posted by anonymouse: | Reply

You're overthinking this. It was popular because it's a sci-fi action movie that does an especially good job of seeming real. It's popular among certain pseudointellectuals because it seems like it has some sort of message that they're supposed to agree with.

I think you need a break from american pop culture. Maybe you should watch some anime or something.

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I am not stupid, okay? I on... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 1:45 PM | Posted by Peter Jackson: | Reply

I am not stupid, okay? I only make stupid movies with lot of cgi and action, okay? but that draws in the millions of stupid moviegoers across the world, okay? if i made a movie that was a serious take on aliens landing on earth and did not include stereotypes and cliche plots then i would have lost my target audience in the first 7 minutes and i wont make movies for the 60 odd intellectuals out there. ya, i know it sucks to be you. go watch Guillermo del Toro movies to stimulate your noodle. i am happy stimulating my wallet.

by the way, i loved your review. very funny. but next time please attack quentin tarantino, okay? i am too soft a target because my movies are stupid.

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is this some form of inkblo... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 2:04 PM | Posted by bahh bahh black sheep: | Reply

is this some form of inkblot troll? your deep knowledge of predator gives you away. and then i couldn't decide if it was my cynicism or yours that made me not want to post a response. but we all feel the need to share. your review is artistic in its wit, so i know you aren't expecting real intellectual or social stimulation at the movie theatre. luckily, we both know the true value of another person's opinion of art.

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I love your PJ O'Rourke sty... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 6:45 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

I love your PJ O'Rourke style...

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Brilliant review. You echoe... (Below threshold)

September 1, 2009 10:04 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Brilliant review. You echoed my feelings about the movie except with infinitely more humor. Social commentary my ass. This movie starts out well and then deteriorates into the same old pit of movie cliches which is probably a scathing review of the Obama administration.

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Wasn't this a Star Trek Voy... (Below threshold)

September 2, 2009 5:24 AM | Posted by Annaly: | Reply

Wasn't this a Star Trek Voyager episode?

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Hey doc, it's relatively ha... (Below threshold)

September 2, 2009 9:53 PM | Posted by Z. Constantine: | Reply

Hey doc, it's relatively hard to tell whether this sardonic lampooning of the first order was truly inspired or dependent upon some self-prescribed movie snacks...

Perhaps a disclaimer would've been in order, because for a while there it appeared as though you'd stepped out of consensus reality for a "This is your Last Psychiatrist on ACID!" fugue.

(Narrow confidence interval for your immediate fixation/appreciation of TV Tropes, if you bother following that link)

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You write for cracked now?<... (Below threshold)

September 5, 2009 11:01 PM | Posted by sdfsdfsdfsdfsd: | Reply

You write for cracked now?

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Alone's response: Many p... (Below threshold)

September 6, 2009 1:01 AM | Posted, in reply to sdfsdfsdfsdfsd's comment, by Alone: | Reply

Alone's response: Many people have asked me if this blog is influenced by the works of McLuhan or Lacan or [insert name of theory guy], and of course I'm influenced by everything; but if you want to know what focused me as a blogger, it's this:

The Ultimate War Simulation Game

So Cracked is something I've wanted to do for a long time. Please re-digg/reddit it over there.

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My favorite bit was when th... (Below threshold)

September 6, 2009 12:03 PM | Posted by Neuroskeptic: | Reply

My favorite bit was when they set out to get 1.5 million alien signiatures in one day, by sending in one guy.

Actually, my favorite bit was when they bust into the enemy's top secret lab, searching for the top-secret fuel cell worth trillions of dollars, and they found it 10 seconds later in an unlocked glass box.

This was nearly as good as when the guy who was quite clearly infected with some kind of horrific alien disease wasn't quarantined at all, nor sought to isolate himself, despite this being one of the #1 things you would worry about if aliens did appear on earth.

Still, the fight scenes were good.

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you're paranoid man.... (Below threshold)

September 6, 2009 2:59 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

you're paranoid man.

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if you were to actually pay... (Below threshold)

September 9, 2009 2:03 PM | Posted by Trei: | Reply

if you were to actually pay attention to the film, you may have noticed that the alien kid was asking about HIS HOME PLANET - "how many moons does is have? seven. this planet only has one"

and that's NOT because he was stupid, but because he liked to listen to the story about HOME over and over again. you know, kids do that - listen to the same story over and over. ok, maybe you don't.

there's NOTHING in the film to suggest the kid is stupid. your whole 'review' is based on one line that you did not get. the line that was part of the emotional plot.

are you running out of things to write about? were you brainwashed? abducted by aliens?

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I can't tell u how much thi... (Below threshold)

September 9, 2009 11:54 PM | Posted by mark: | Reply

I can't tell u how much this review pisses me off. I used to think you were cool, LP, but now I can tell that you are really a fool!

The bush administration isn't even MENTIONEd in the movie. I dont know why u keep mentioning it. Those years talking to schizos fried your brain, man. They make you see implications that aren't there.

You fail to mention that the dutch dude is a complete idiot who can't even make his Gundam work right. He's a total retard who abandons Districts 9 and 8 in their hour of need just because he thinks that waiting 3 years is too long for some reason. Umm, I guess that turning back into a human NEVER is a better idea? Way to ruin their rocketship, champ.

I've seen better movie reviews LP. Your Twilight review was dark, deep, and penetrating? This review is a sloppy blowjob by comparison

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He's <a href="http://en.wik... (Below threshold)

September 10, 2009 5:41 PM | Posted by Neuroskeptic: | Reply

He's not Dutch as such.

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Loved your review DUDE... (Below threshold)

September 12, 2009 9:21 AM | Posted by Michael Blend: | Reply

Loved your review DUDE

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As everyone knows, prawns a... (Below threshold)

June 7, 2010 6:07 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

As everyone knows, prawns are delicious; this is why some of the black people in the movie try to eat them.

All the while, they are relentlessly pursued by Wikus and the Fox News team, who shoot and kill everything in sight just to feel the blood splatter on their faces. It nourishes them.

They do, however, throw rocks at them as they're being shot at by machine guns. Also, one dons a suicide vest and blows himself up in order to kill all the vampires.


This is the best review of ANY movie I have ever read...It's freaking hilarious!!!

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A lot of the points in the ... (Below threshold)

January 16, 2011 1:57 PM | Posted by Reality is stranger still: | Reply

A lot of the points in the movie aren't as dumb as you think. Reality's a very strange thing.

1. Weapon's lying around: We see they confiscate a fuckton, who says that every major government doesn't already have people busting their ass trying to figure out how they work?

2. Prawn's not using them: There's 6 billion of us and like 200K of them. 'nough said.

3. How many moons does Earth have: It's entirely possible for a planet to have moons orbiting it that are only visible from space.
That's not a stupid question!!

4. Kid flying the spaceship: 747's made more recently are easier to fly, not harder, who's to say the same thing won't happen with spaceships?

5. They don't build a spaceship. They get fuel for their fully-functioning vessel, which they landed and hid.

6. The kid doesn't refine the fuel, or do any of the science shit. He just picks up scraps from piles of junk. Not exactly rocket science.

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There goes any respect I co... (Below threshold)

December 31, 2012 5:45 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

There goes any respect I could possibly have had for you.

This is moronic. I mean, absolutely _moronic_. Parochial, dumb, naval gazing american idiocy at its finest.

""District 9" is an allusion to the 9th district of New Orleans submerged by the movie Hurricane Katrina almost exactly 4 years ag"

Or maybe it, being, y'know, a South African movie is a reference to "District 6" in Cape Town, where the inhabitants were brually resettled.

"The aliens, who in the movie like to eat cat food, represent blacks. "

WRONG! They represents blacks from _other parts of Africa_. This is actually a very brave commentary on the new prejudice in the rainbow nations. Black & White south africa united against... other blacks.

Let me guess. You didn't know about this. Because, like every pseudo-sophisticated American commentator you think it's all about you.

"the Districts must travel all the way to Nigeria to find thugs willing to sell them the parts.
"

...please, just stop. Please just do not say another WORD. You obviously know nothing about the Nigerian gangs that play such... you know what? Forget it.

Look. You are a dumb American. Not saying all Americans are dumb, but you are. You fulfill every stereotype about the chauvinist, thick-as-two planks nativist who knows nothing about other countries and cares less, and thinks USA is the world.

Please, just don't bother trying to pretend you're anything else. It's embarrassing.

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Or, to use your terms, you ... (Below threshold)

December 31, 2012 5:47 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Or, to use your terms, you are a grade A narcissist. You think it's all about you.

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stop bolding RANDOM words, ... (Below threshold)

December 31, 2012 12:01 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

stop bolding RANDOM words, stop acting like a know it all, stop posting

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Cute. I don't know it all,... (Below threshold)

January 1, 2013 9:49 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Cute. I don't know it all, but I do know this: it isn't some fantasy inbred redneck that thinks that the world consists only of the US of A, or, anyway, that it's what everything's about. It is the slick pseudo-intellectuals who think like that, who seriously think that everything is about them.

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LOL. Im sorry man, but its ... (Below threshold)

June 18, 2013 2:38 AM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by James: | Reply

LOL. Im sorry man, but its funny how seriously you are taking his jokes.

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This is much better than th... (Below threshold)

March 31, 2014 8:21 PM | Posted by johnnycoconut: | Reply

This is much better than the Cracked version. If I actually watched this movie I'd be so even more confused, wouldn't I?

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