February 22, 2012

The Father That Shot His Daughter's Computer

facebook dad.JPG
it succeeded




I.  "I'd love for you to write about the dad who shot his daughter's computer because she posted something nasty on Facebook. "


This one's easy.  He's insane.  How do you work in IT but it takes you hours, let alone hundreds of dollars, to upgrade a laptop?  Doesn't he know you just pick up an unattended one at Starbucks?  I got a MacBook Pro with a OccupyMyPants bumber sticker on it.  Sweet.

He's the Dad, he's held to a higher standard.  What was his intention?  To change her behavior?  But there were a million ways he could have done this, including reading that letter and shooting that laptop in front of her and not in front of other people.  Would he have dared?  But the very point of the operation was the video. 

The mistake is thinking that he was trying to shame her into improving. That never works, it simply reinforces that outward appearances matter more than what's true, which not coincidentally is the very purpose of facebook. 

But never mind that, look carefully at what Cat-5 Tex revealed about her that was so shameful: nothing.  She never appeared in the video.  Her terrible facebook post that he read was already on facebook for all to see, we learned nothing new about her, all the information we learned was about him.  He was repairing his own image as the kind of father who'd have the kind of daughter who'd do this-- this being not her goddam behavior (after all, he had lived with her and her goddam behavior a goodly number of years without incident) but her publicizing her behavior.   He was shamed not by her behavior but Facebook revealing it, which is why Facebook had to die.  If he was Muslim they'd have called it an honor killing.

Is she going to change?  Not likely, and it's not evident what about her needs to change except her address.  No, I don't mean she has to flee, I mean she has to grow up, so does he, both of the dummies involved violated one of the cardinal rules of family: don't disparage someone in the family to someone outside the family.  If you need me to explain this you are a terrible person.


II.  Uh oh, why is there a II?


Here is a thought experiment: how would you feel if you found out this video was a hoax? 

Why were you so passionate about the video? Now that time's passed, it hardly seems like it was worth the energy.  But at the time it was urgent that you expressed either one of the two approved opinions:



"Kids today are so goddam spoiled.  When I was their age I had to work, now all they do is play video games..."

Who bought them the video game?  What did you think they were going to do with it?  Trade it for a calculus tutor? 

Who spoils them?  Maybe you're not to blame if they turn to meth, but who else could be to blame if they're spoiled?

"The problem with kids today..." Stop right there, I'll finish:  is parents today.  Parents today suck.   I've checked.  The Illuminati let me see the CCTV from every American household and in all of them everyone is in separate rooms staring at a glowing lie.

Do you have a child who is like that guy's daughter?  Then you're an idiot, not for having such a child but for diverting energy to support of that guy, in the same way that the reason your wife left you is the porn.  It's not the from-behind action, it's the neglect.   I know you are not going to believe this, but the reason your child is trouble is that you support that man.     "I don't understand kids today."  Tell me if I'm close: "You need to study to go to college, major in business, get a job working for a salary and if something goes wrong let the government you hate so much cover your medical, disability, and retirement needs.  Saturdays are for yard work.  Sundays are for church and football."  Sound right?  Kinda surprising that they'd want a different future, and that's why your kid smokes weed but calls it pot.




"That father is a narcissistic jerk!"

Why so serious?  Think about how little rage you feel for the 99% prevalence of incest in an inner city.  Let me check your facebook, see if that sexual abuse didn't prompt an all caps comment.  Hmm.  No.  "I'm not that angry about the dad..."  Rage isn't about quantity, but about certainty.

"So I can't have an opinion about this?" Of course you can, there's value in that and you've discussed this video with lots of people, I'm sure.  Did you discuss this with your parents or your kid?  That should have been your first thought.  Did you sit your Dad or your Mom or your 15 year old down and say, "I'm going to show you something and I want you to honestly tell me your thoughts, random, unfiltered, and I swear to you I will treat you like a human being and listen and not get defensive and angry like I always do every time we talk about something that reveals you to be something other than what I see in you."  Because that would be an illuminating conversation. 

This is the point: it didn't occur to you to do this.  It occurred to you to voice your opinion publicly to anonymous strangers, but not directly to people that matter.  That's what you've been trained to do, that's where your priorities have been taught to be.  That's the Matrix.  You're not thinking about your child's development, you're being tricked into thinking about your identity while the system uses you as a battery.  No Red Pill for you.  And no Red Pill for your kids, either.


III.


How do you think you came across this enraging video of a red state psychopath with a .45 and .NET certification?  If you're watching it, it's for you.

How do you think you found this video of a decent Father resisting the AP Obama Studies his disrespectful daughter learned in those liberal public schools?  If you're watching it, it's for you.

It's not completely your fault.  The system is much bigger than you, it is a spirit;  and you think you stand defensively because you were taught to think that the deep insight is that it's selling to you, telling you what to love or what to hate when it is actually telling you how to love and how to hate, not what to be but how to be.  It nudges you towards the binary extremes so it is easier to control you. It wants you to have opinions, it wants you to "pick sides", "get involved", "take a stand."   It doesn't want you to be indifferent, it wants you to love or to hate, rage or lust, so you feel alive-- but always your strongest passions focused on the irrelevant.  "That Dad is awesome!"  Then you'll vote Romney and the system has won, not because it wants Romney but because it wants to minimize your political involvement to voting.  That shows you care; and if you really care you'd vote in local elections, too; and for the really active among you, why not donate your time to the campaigns?  Grass roots!  But the only thing that comes from grass roots is grass, and it doesn't really need your help.  It just needs you not to have the time to consider planting something else.


-------------


http://twitter.com/thelastpsych 









Comments

Oddly enough, the one perso... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 12:42 PM | Posted by JohnJ: | Reply

Oddly enough, the one person who had sent me this video (after I had already seen it online) is someone who is an incredibly loving parent and not very partisan, but she loved it. Whereas I am a not very good parent who is very partisan and I was meh towards it. Well, there are always exceptions to general rules, but that doesn't mean they're not generally true.

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You are a philosophical mon... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 12:44 PM | Posted by JohnK: | Reply

You are a philosophical monster.

And that is a great thing.

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I know this isn't a really ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 12:59 PM | Posted by asdf: | Reply

I know this isn't a really helpful comment, but I didn't really get the point of this post. It kinduv rambles, I can't find a thesis or anything keeping it togethor. What are you trying to say?

Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -14 (64 votes cast)
A bunch of coworkers posted... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:01 PM | Posted by certified: | Reply

A bunch of coworkers posted this on FB with the equivalent of "you go girl" comments.

After watching it, I felt like I missed something. The letter sounded like a normal teenager rant. Frustration without the tools or experience to cope with them.

But nowhere did I see an entitled gen-y getting their due. Or an inspirational parent, or anything other than high probability of the girl's future career involving a pole and dancing.

I didn't feel rage or sympathy for the father. I felt an odd sense of embarrassment for the girl, the wife and anyone else who had an adolescent brained tyrant for a father or husband.

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I assume this is a fake.</p... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:04 PM | Posted by Elisabeth: | Reply

I assume this is a fake.

Maybe that comes from narcissism and/or a lack of imagination. But I can't imagine anyone doing this for something other than attention ho-ing.

It's so outside (1) the societal norms and (2) rational human behaviour (he's showing his disappointment in her sharing family business online by...sharing family business online) that I can't believe it's real.

As someone asked on Partial Objects, why is he in a field wearing a cowboy hat, when he works in IT? It's like he's, y'know, playing up to every stereotype of the violent, moronic redneck and playing off parents' frustration with themselves/their children.

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Hey Morpheus, I don't come ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:08 PM | Posted by Heytor: | Reply

Hey Morpheus, I don't come here and accidentally click your ads so you can talk about the Matrix, I want to be shown it. Stop skipping the logical steps in your explanations and spell out the details, otherwise your amorphous meta-analysis is yet just another aspect of the system which distracts us. Would you rather we take red pill and never come back to this blog (If you're reading it, it's there for you), or keep sending you ad revenue?

You always deliver the pledge and the turn, but rarely the prestige.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4gHCmTQDVI#t=01m08

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It's perhaps a bit over the... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:11 PM | Posted by Aaron: | Reply

It's perhaps a bit over the top, but remember they're in the south where guns aren't seen as such a scary thing. They're an instrument symbolizing power and autonomy and don't-come-on-my-property and whatever, but they really don't have the same connotations they have for us in the nothern and western parts of the continent. If I saw a suburban dad here in Toronto make this same video I'd see it as far more alarming.

Also, he didn't know the video would go viral; he thought only familiar people on Facebook would see it, mostly his teenage daughter's friends. Compare it to: imagine she has some friends over and backchats him like a snotty 15 year might; a natural reaction would be a stronger one to put her in her place when she's attempting this power leveraging in front of her friends.

Also, it had happened before and he warned of this punishment. It wasn't random and I didn't get a sense of rage from it.

Later he might laugh at her complaints because her silly conduct didn't work out for her. And that there is an important test: can you imagine the family laughing about it when it's brought up at some point in the distant future. I say yes, probably. Nobody in the families of the crazy judge or Amy Chua will laugh about memories of him belting her or Chua calling her daughter "garbage."

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It's a nice article, and th... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:13 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

It's a nice article, and the picture that accompanies it is absolutely brilliant. I'd love to know where it came from.

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Wouldn't it make more sense... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:18 PM | Posted, in reply to Aaron's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Wouldn't it make more sense to be scared of the person behind the gun, and not the mystical qualities of the gun itself?

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"As someone asked on Partia... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:23 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

"As someone asked on Partial Objects, why is he in a field wearing a cowboy hat, when he works in IT? It's like he's, y'know, playing up to every stereotype of the violent, moronic redneck and playing off parents' frustration with themselves/their children."

I can understand that "wow, are you really serious, I can't process it because I'm incredulous" feeling. I sometimes get it around doctors or mental health professionals, most of all. But I do think this guy is serious, or he's faking really well. I mean, he has some kind of gun website, which totally fits with the overall picture. I believe he also has his own website or facebook page.

I do have to point out, in defense of rednecks, most of the ones I've been acquainted with aren't too violent. Weirdly, they've always been good cooks, even the men. I don't think this guy gets to align himself with hardly anybody actually, he's kind of in a class of his own. Unless it's the crazy, abusive parent class.

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dude.... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:27 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

dude.

Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -1 (7 votes cast)
I think he's saying somethi... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:29 PM | Posted, in reply to asdf's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I think he's saying something along the lines of where this guy is at, so too are some of you; you may have some similarities in common with him that you aren't aware of. But I kind of zoned on the post a bit, so maybe not.

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It really is all about the ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:31 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

It really is all about the gun. Guns are bad, m'kay? No one would care if he had smashed it with a hammer.

Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -7 (23 votes cast)
I'm not talking about the "... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:36 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Aaron: | Reply

I'm not talking about the "mystical qualities of the gun," I'm talking about the social context of the gun. Think of the difference between seeing a guy with a cowboy hat and a gun on his side in the south, and a thug looking guy in Compton walking along with a do-rag and a gun on his side. The latter is scarier and the former even though they're carrying the same gun.

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Totally agree. The red pill... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:47 PM | Posted, in reply to Heytor's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Totally agree. The red pill, please.

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<a href="http://thirdtierre... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 1:50 PM | Posted by Nando: | Reply

http://thirdtierreality.blogspot.com/

If your son or daughter is considering applying to law school, then you SHOULD destroy their computer!

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ah hell... Nando is back wi... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 2:01 PM | Posted, in reply to Nando's comment, by nando_is_a_dick: | Reply

ah hell... Nando is back with more of his shameless self promotion. why don't you buy some advertising space you fucking troll?

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I like you, Nando. You are ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 2:18 PM | Posted, in reply to Nando's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I like you, Nando. You are funny. I think you don't take yourself too seriously.

Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: -6 (18 votes cast)
It's like Justin Bieber! So... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 2:36 PM | Posted by Eipa: | Reply

It's like Justin Bieber! So many people hate that guy for so ridiculous reasons and the people who love him are children or ridiculous as well.

And I love Nandos comments, he always sees something in the texts that catches nobody elses eye.

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I saw the video linked on F... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 2:57 PM | Posted by someguy: | Reply

I saw the video linked on Facebook, watched about the first 30 seconds, and then closed it. It seemed to be family business, and watching other people's private stuff was uncomfortably close to gossip: he who listens to backbiting is a backbiter himself.

I didn't find out he shot anything until a couple days later, and then I was glad I didn't watch it all the way through. The last thing I want to do with someone screaming "Look at me!" that loudly is reward the behavior.

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I can't wait for Daniel Tos... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 3:47 PM | Posted by Jonny Velocity: | Reply

I can't wait for Daniel Tosh's 'web redemption'.

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The problem is that by turn... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 3:58 PM | Posted, in reply to someguy's comment, by Jonny Velocity: | Reply

The problem is that by turning it off you rewarded the behavour. He wanted family business to stay in the family (when it was his business, at least, she doesn't have any privacy it seems). The irony is that by putting his reply on Facebook he reinforced making public something that was, in his opinion, supposed to be private.

The reward you gave him was to believe his 'ideology' - privacy within the family - over his actions - the complete opposite of his ideology (which means his ideology isn't 'keep it in the family', it's actually 'shame me and I'll shame you because I'm the man and you're nothing'). You could say you were following your own ideology about privacy in the family, which is fair, but he wanted you to watch and cheer him on (like what sounds like an alarming number of people who saw this did).

TLP is right, this video serves to divide people over trivia - trivia that touches a deep, raw, feeling of helplessness in a lot of people, but trivia none the less.
People who strongly agree or disagree with this video are the real enemy

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There is one thing I've bee... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 3:58 PM | Posted by Mark: | Reply

There is one thing I've been meaning to ask, actually. All these incidents you blog about - I've never heard about most of them, or at least not until I hear about 'em from you. Are they still for me?

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I have no idea whether/not ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 4:08 PM | Posted by Eggplant: | Reply

I have no idea whether/not a stutter is a symptom of an upward migration of an anal fixation, but note how he has no trouble speaking while he's on script, and how it only really kicks in at "responsibility" and at other points where I suspect he didn't really buy what he was telling himself. There's a huge obsessional component to it, a way of calling bullshit on yourself and letting the world know that you're not the plausible authority figure with an integrated personality and a large hat, and now he knows that his daughter thinks he's full of shit - and maybe she's partly right (especially re the cleaning lady-wtf?) so he expressed his partial concurrence by histrionically destroying his own property.

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The funny thing is I hadn't... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 4:17 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

The funny thing is I hadn't heard of this video until you posted it. Is the video still made for me (or youtube's presentation of it if you like) if it came via this site?

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"you can be the drunkest pa... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 4:23 PM | Posted by Phanatic: | Reply

"you can be the drunkest parent imaginable, and the kid will make it as long as your terribleness is a known quantity, your immensely violent behavior predictable, and the kid has some control over the consequences, e.g. if he does X he'll get his hand put in a microwave, but if he doesn't do X he won't. As long as the kid can make sense of the story of his life, if he understands its narrative structure-- even if it is made up (Life Is Beautiful)-- he can make it."

The guy has already told his daughter, "Do this again, and I'm shooting your laptop." She did it. He'd made the threat. He *has* to carry it out. Parenting requires consistency.


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I'm not absolutely sure (I ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:05 PM | Posted, in reply to Mark's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I'm not absolutely sure (I don't know the guy) but I think he may mean, at least in part, not that the post is literally for you (if he thinks he is doing the world a big favor and helping everybody, primarily, well, that is interesting) but that how you interpret the post, what you 'take away from it' means something, and I would like to add, it may not mean what you think, initially. I think a fair thing to say about TLP would be 'take what you want leave the rest.' It probably is better to regard TLP as more useful if there's a dialogue and not a lecture. (Like every other relationship in life).

Re: man who shot daughter's computer. This is abuse and I'd bet good money this isn't the first time.
There is this psych idea that it is important for parents to not force their children to meet their own needs. Also, important to not let your child think they are capable of wounding you super bad or totally making you crazy or or thoroughly pissing you off to the max. It just tends to give them problems because they might process it sort of rationally, i.e. my dad's unstable and this is about him, rather they might process it as, I am responsible for other people's feelings and I am very strong, strong enough to wound my parents real bad even though I am smaller, and so I have to squash my self to make things alright for other people.
(Thank you Alice Miller and years of therapy).

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What is wrong with being pa... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:10 PM | Posted by Tim: | Reply

What is wrong with being part of the system though?

Humans are social animals and the great things we achieve, we achieve together. Landscape transforming engineering projects, healthcare systems, not having to spend most of our time gathering food - all of these can only exist where a large number of people buy in to a system so complex that no one individual really understands it. And they must buy in without realizing it, because the things you really believe, perhaps, are not conclusions that you arrive at cognitively.

There is no illuminati controlling the world, but there are very powerful men who have great influence, and they are largely people from a similar background in the previous generation. But they are just as controlled by upbringing, intergenerational values, and pop culture as the rest of us. They simply have a different subjective experience of these things because of the perspective they are looking at them from. The Kenedy family are called American political royalty. Why is it that across generations so many of them chose to pursue politics, placed value on that career out of all those available to them? Because that was what they were brought up to believe was important, gave a man value.

I'm going to say that the system is bad where it perpetuates unhappiness.
In a darwinian sort of way, a system can only last if it perpetuates peoples roles within it across generations, otherwise it would break down. So systems tend to perpetuate stuff. They are conservative.
So when what they perpetuate is negative, then that's bad. Like an underclass who pass on chaotic lifestyles that lead to unhappiness.
But there are always losers. People the wrong side of some margin. However things were organized.

So what do you want? If the system is bad, there must be something better. Because otherwise, like a long, happy life still holds unhappiness and death, a good system still perpetuates it's bad aspects.

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Are you a plausible authori... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:10 PM | Posted, in reply to Eggplant's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Are you a plausible authority figure with an integrated personality, or simply interested in what one would look like in theory? I'm curious.

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"... the 99% prevalence of ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:13 PM | Posted by Felan: | Reply

"... the 99% prevalence of incest in an inner city."

Is that a real statistic?

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The first the he says after... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:15 PM | Posted by break: | Reply

The first the he says after reading the letter is that he will not refer to the woman who cleans their house as their cleaning lady. The video was obviously for a wider audience than just his daughter.

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I think I understand what y... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:15 PM | Posted, in reply to Tim's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I think I understand what you're saying. If you want to really have some fun with the whole "So what do you want?!" idea, read about dystopia. It might be hard to find really good literature but it is worth it when you do.

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"The first the he says afte... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 5:17 PM | Posted, in reply to break's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

"The first the he says after reading the letter is that he will not refer to the woman who cleans their house as their cleaning lady."

That's mighty white.

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<a href="http://www.dailyma... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 6:09 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2099958/Dad-shot-daughters-laptop-Facebook-post-wont-let-family-gain-new-fame.html

I know TLP said the daughter's post was terrible, but it doesn't sound terrible to me at all. It doesn't even sound like a rebellious teen (even though rebellion is pretty typical and actually healthy for teenagers). To me, it sounds like she has some valid complaints, which, given who she has for a dad (and the mother got into it too, she doesn't sound so great either), doesn't surprise me at all. Also, the girl blocked church/friends list and family on her facebook from even seeing the post, according to the father's own press statement, so it isn't even like he was being humiliated very publicly. (Unless he thinks people are actually reading his dog's facebook page). He encountered the statement because she didn't cover her tracks well enough.
Shouldn't she be allowed to say what she wants to her own friends and, in a sense, to herself? What kind of grown man is threatened by that? Furthermore, he could have just locked the computer in a cabinet (excellent parenting technique- it really works).
Appearances are super important to teenagers- they should not be as important in the same way to adults, or they're not adults.

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What would you recommend pl... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 7:22 PM | Posted by ExOttoyuhr: | Reply

What would you recommend planting instead of grass roots? Whatever you recommend doing, how would you advise doing it? After seven years of back archives, we're convinced that there is a problem; what is the solution?

"Don't be a narcissist" is certainly a part of it, but the last paragraph clearly states that we should try "planting something else" instead of engaging with the US's current political regime. What do you think we should do?

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Grass roots! But the on... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 7:35 PM | Posted by James K: | Reply

Grass roots! But the only thing that comes from grass roots is grass, and it doesn't really need your help. It just needs you not to have the time to consider planting something else.

I take your meta-analysis, and raise you to a meta-meta-analysis.

The irony is that Tommy Jordan is one of the few who didn't limit his political activity to voting, or to "grass roots" campaigning. He is one of the few who did plant something other than grass. What did he achieve? He got 15 minutes of fame, and a lot of people watched the video because it was for them.

Unless a person is extraordinarily gifted (Bertrand Russell, Steve Jobs), or in the right place at the right time (Joan of Arc, Mohammed Bouazizi), this is as good as it gets when they plant something other than grass.

If a person without exceptional gifts wants his/her political activity to be more effective, they must either cooperate with large numbers of other people, and ultimately become organised into a part of "the system"; or they must work outside formal politics and contribute to their local community, but again their effort is effective only if many others are also making contributions.

In a country of 300 million people with representative democracy, how can it be otherwise? If "the system" did not exist, it would still appear to exist.

I read this blog because it is for me. I want a better understanding of how people think, and of course it always comes back to how I think. No matter how many times you point it out, the next time you do so I am always surprised. When I stop being surprised, when I know in advance what you are going to say, it will be time to look somewhere else.

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Obviously the answer is: Ha... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 7:45 PM | Posted, in reply to ExOttoyuhr's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Obviously the answer is: Have a blog, a twitter account, blame everyone else, and rum.

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A lot of dystopian stories ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 7:52 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

A lot of dystopian stories talk about a sort of dark utopia, where the state or social expectations constrain peoples lives in a horrible way.
In many ways you could say we live in such a world - internationally, many people live in horrible conditions, and we have the resources to save them but don't because our behaviors are constrained so we don't.

A lot of dystopian stories talk about a world where we have more or less taken that step, and the problem is the complete control the system exercises over people. I think those stories miss something important.
First, if you assume our future behavior is the product of our experiences, and you call the world and social situations in which we have those experiences 'the system', then ANY world is completely controlling, any system is all pervasive. There is no escape. Neo takes his pill and wakes up but his actions from there are as part of his role as a rebel, and his choices are informed by his experiences in that system.

The second is that perhaps we need to have a place in a system to be happy. If a father doesn't spend enough time instilling a place into his kid, we call it neglect. We expect the kid not to know their assigned role in society, from a role model, and feel a deep emptiness leading to behavior that isn't just antisocial but self harming.
The unhappy in society are those excluded from a role in it. Unemployment leads to depression, and not just for the social security. People need a reality that tells them to do something, and then tells them that thing is good, a job well done. Then they can be happy.

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This is the point: it didn'... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 9:43 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

This is the point: it didn't occur to you to do this. It occurred to you to voice your opinion publicly to anonymous strangers, but not sit there and comprehend what you just read.

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"Obviously the answer is: H... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 9:45 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

"Obviously the answer is: Have a blog, a twitter account, blame everyone else, and rum."

But I'm a Luddite programmer (with a dumb-phone, even) who doesn't like spreading blame and prefers brandy...

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That's the Matrix. You're ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 9:48 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

That's the Matrix. You're not thinking about how this article describes you, you're being tricked into thinking about your identity while the system uses you as a battery.

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You are a major asshole.</p... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 9:52 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

You are a major asshole.

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I realize when most people ... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 9:57 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I realize when most people think of the idea of dystopia, people think of George Orwell and Huxley. I don't; I think of the textbook I owned on dystopia. But the way I mean it is, a society that, by being in a sense too perfect, is harming it's people.

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My feeling the moment I saw... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 11:15 PM | Posted by Veryon: | Reply

My feeling the moment I saw it was horror. My instinct is that even if he was going public with this, he should have donated that hardware to someone grateful. If the lesson was about hard work and being appreciative, then why not involve an example? Instead he destroyed a piece of property that chinese workers are committing suicide to make. The message became, "If someone hurts you, destroy their means." What made me sick is that a follow up explanation showed that his daughter was already on board with it. She joked about selling the bullets on ebay. If I chose a side in this spectacle...it was the computers. The laptop didn't do anything wrong!

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Oh, that is a nice perspect... (Below threshold)

February 22, 2012 11:41 PM | Posted, in reply to Veryon's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Oh, that is a nice perspective. I like you!

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Being the cynical and heart... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 12:24 AM | Posted by Phil A: | Reply

Being the cynical and heartless bastard that I am, this video struck me as "off". A couple of things struck me about it. Firstly, he had a copyright notice on the video, which is not something you do when you're nothing more than an angry parent. Second, he linked to his Facebook page.

I went to the Facebook page and noticed old posts from like 2007 or something that explained that he has been in a competition to go more viral than some other dude, and that he participates in viral campaigns to raise money for charity.

Reading your post, Alone, I was kinda taken aback that you didn't go more in depth about the fact that this video is obviously a hoax. Well, I guess it isn't that surprising because you had a point to make.

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For the purpose of enlighte... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 1:52 AM | Posted by Someone: | Reply

For the purpose of enlightening a world that desperately needs it, please would Alone put up a page (or a post) with recommendations for what to read/study so as to develop this ability to deconstruct?

One Alone is not enough. I would like to learn. I'm sure others would too.

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<a href="http://thirdtierre... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 5:23 AM | Posted, in reply to Nando's comment, by BARDO: | Reply

http://thirdtierrealty.me/

O ONE OF NOBLE BIRTH, law school is not good enough for you!

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"It really is all about the... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 6:14 AM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Elisabeth: | Reply

"It really is all about the gun. Guns are bad, m'kay? No one would care if he had smashed it with a hammer."

Oh joy of joys, an anti gun nut...

Actually, I'm fine with him using a gun. If he used a hammer, or just trashed it using his hands, then I'd worry.

Guns give a sense of distance. If he was using a more personal means of destroying the computer then, hoax or not, I'd see it has him trying to destroy the daughter using a proxy.

*That's* the kind of behaviour that calls for sneaking away in the middle of the night before Daddy can kill you.

In all seriousness, it takes a special kind of stupidity and ignorance to think that this would be fine if only he'd used a different weapon.

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Brandy it is, then! ... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 6:28 AM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Brandy it is, then!
But don't forget to write self-hating letters to random people.

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As pretty as this Matrix an... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 7:45 AM | Posted, in reply to Heytor's comment, by Eipa: | Reply

As pretty as this Matrix analogy might be, one has to state that you won't be able to leave any real System by consuming pills or with the help of magical tricks. Remember that Matrix is fiction. And that there aren't any saviours to solve your problems but yourself. 'Getting out of the system' is hard and barely rewarding work. Funnily enough, in a older post TLP criticises Matrix as the last escape of an narcissistic cinephile growing old.

Alone is no Morpheus and more importantly, you aren't Neo.

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What message does he send t... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 7:56 AM | Posted by James K: | Reply

What message does he send to his daughter? "If you use your computer to bring shame upon your family, I will shoot it nine times." I wonder what he will do if he feels that she has used her body to bring shame on her family?

Actually we are probably all over-analyzing. Phil A above pointed out the father's long-standing interest in making a viral video. If the dispute with his daughter was real and not invented, then we are back to our old friend, narcissism. In either case, we've all been suckered.

He deliberately manufactured a video to get our attention. We don't think of him either as a "red state psychopath", or as a "decent Father resisting ... his disrespectful daughter". We're talking about it because we want to understand his mind (or our own minds) - and so we're watching it, because it's for us.

Because it appeals to so many people, it is a really good viral video. They will still be showing it on TV in 100 years' time.

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The gun is what makes the v... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 8:05 AM | Posted, in reply to Elisabeth's comment, by James K: | Reply

The gun is what makes the video, because using a gun to destroy a computer is so incongruous. Using a sledgehammer or bare hands is not much different from what might happen in a scrapyard.

Shooting a computer is the equivalent of Basil Fawlty bargaining with his car, and then beating the car with a branch when it doesn't keep its side of the bargain.

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The South always gets great... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 10:21 AM | Posted by Noel Bell: | Reply

The South always gets great PR :)

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"Here is a thought experime... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 10:24 AM | Posted by Gary: | Reply

"Here is a thought experiment: how would you feel if you found out this video was a hoax?"

Mildly unsurprised. There's mild surprise that it didn't turn out (yet?) to be a round in viral marketing for a new heartwarming family-friendly action-comedy, 'Gun Dad and Laptop Girl', in theaters this spring.

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"We're talking about it bec... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 10:52 AM | Posted by ginnygeneva@gmail.com: | Reply

"We're talking about it because we want to understand his mind (or our own minds) - and so we're watching it, because it's for us.
Because it appeals to so many people, it is a really good viral video. They will still be showing it on TV in 100 years' time."

They will not be showing it on TV in 100 years' time. No way. Gross overestimation of the video, gross underestimation of humankind, or both.

It occurred to me the other day Alone may say that 'if you're reading it, it's for you' as an ironic/funny/dark way of saying that what a person takes away from his posts (or anything else, for that matter), ultimately has to do with who the person is and then further delivers the logical results (self made karma, sort of) of that choice. Things really do have a way of self-perpetuating.

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I'm not saying I'm not over... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 11:35 AM | Posted, in reply to ginnygeneva@gmail.com's comment, by ginnygeneva@gmail.com: | Reply

I'm not saying I'm not oversimplifying on a certain level. Made slightly better, I would say if you make decisions based on what *really* makes you happy (if you can; if you have some nascent amount of emotional insight) and continue to do, you get happier. Otherwise, call in the troops (shrinks, pastors, friends, books, etc) to help you. I meant it in a more complex way than that, but then I realized the comment could definitely be misused. I meant if people try however unconsciously, they really can also make themselves even more miserable and sick, creating their own little hell, too. I think Alone is right about people playing complex games with themselves to try to maintain the status quo... There's a guy I know well with issues, widely recognized issues of long term duration, so I can observe him. He is remarkably adept at maintaining the status quo and *highly resistant to change*, even small change, although he seems mind-bogglingly resourceful at justifying it all (but only to himself). It'd be actually be easier to just make some small changes that everyone (friends, shrinks, any halfway decent self-help book) wants him to make. But he'd rather pile on his own misery and then use that misery to reinforce his own sense of helplessness (even though he *can* work hard---he's not helpless---he'll only direct it at justifications). It's weird to watch. I don't know what to say to him---nothing works, nothing is acceptable.

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"For the purpose of enlight... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 11:43 AM | Posted, in reply to Someone's comment, by Aardvarkampersand: | Reply

"For the purpose of enlightening a world that desperately needs it, please would Alone put up a page (or a post) with recommendations for what to read/study so as to develop this ability to deconstruct?"

I second that! I find Alone's posts to be fascinating, but they always seem to be somewhat incomplete in that regard. Of course, I think the point for him is that, like a good psychiatrist, he wants us to do our own legwork. But it's hard for the rest of us to start if we want to improve ourselves and our interactions with other human beings but we haven't gone through the eight years of college.

As for the video itself: I couldn't even finish watching it when I discovered it, so I didn't even know that he wound up shooting her computer. I don't know what it was exactly, but there was definintely something about him and his way that was off-putting, to say the least. That seems a mightily out-of-proportion response to what sounds like ordinary teenaged stupidity, which is what that letter sounded like. But it may also be a complex hoax.

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In a previous post, TLP sai... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 1:26 PM | Posted, in reply to Heytor's comment, by anon: | Reply

In a previous post, TLP said:

"I know this is going to run me afoul of every comfy-chair therapist in America, but there is no reason to write anything down, ever. You're not a detective, you're not looking for coded messages or lost time, the patient is there for answers and the structure of your relationship is itself the answers."

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/06/is_the_cult_of_self-esteem_rui.html

I interpret this as something like: this isn't a place for you to come to sit back, relax, and just enjoy the show. This is a place where you come to synthesize your own prestige!

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Re: don't write shit down, ... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 2:24 PM | Posted, in reply to anon's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Re: don't write shit down, therapist.

I would imagine he's in a different position, because he's got experience and a sensibility, which new therapists don't have. If you practice it enough, and make whatever notes you need, you grow those things. Then you in a sense become a therapist and the game *might* become keeping yourself challenged.

It's true of doctors and nurses. A license is a licence to 'practice.' Literally and figuratively. Which is not to say a brand new doctor might not do a better job than an old one. A new one might be more motivated to work harder, for one thing. Although Alone appears to be highly motivated.

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true, but he didn't have to... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 4:46 PM | Posted, in reply to Phanatic's comment, by harpy: | Reply

true, but he didn't have to post it on facebook. makes one wonder where she learned such behavior.

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"Later he might laugh at he... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 7:01 PM | Posted, in reply to Aaron's comment, by ginnygeneva@gmail.com: | Reply

"Later he might laugh at her complaints because her silly conduct didn't work out for her. And that there is an important test: can you imagine the family laughing about it when it's brought up at some point in the distant future. I say yes, probably."

She is already laughing, according to the father. For some reasons he considers this a good sign.

Because she's laughing so soon about a traumatic incident=she has been successfully robbed of her humanity. A normal teenager would not immediately do this. A normal teenager would express normal teenage feelings about it. She has normal teenage feelings based on her original post. But, like that original post that was so unacceptable, expressing herself about the aftermath is also unacceptable.

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Thanks Ginny, that post mad... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 7:14 PM | Posted, in reply to ginnygeneva@gmail.com's comment, by Tim: | Reply

Thanks Ginny, that post made me look at myself a little differently.

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Thank you so much. I really... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 8:53 PM | Posted, in reply to Tim's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Thank you so much. I really feel good to hear that.

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He means plant weed.... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 9:17 PM | Posted by crumbskull: | Reply

He means plant weed.

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it's a nice article.<... (Below threshold)

February 23, 2012 9:52 PM | Posted by Prakash: | Reply

it's a nice article.

Thanks,
Prakash
http://medicalinformationforyou.blogspot.com/

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Oh, you do requests? What ... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 2:43 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Oh, you do requests? What do you make of this, then?

http://www.mamamia.com.au/news/jessica-rudd-talks-politics-kevin-rudd-the-spill-and-owning-it/

(Background info: Australia is not a democracy, but it thinks it is)

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Because she's laughing s... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 4:10 AM | Posted, in reply to ginnygeneva@gmail.com's comment, by fragola: | Reply

Because she's laughing so soon about a traumatic incident=she has been successfully robbed of her humanity. A normal teenager would not immediately do this. A normal teenager would express normal teenage feelings about it.

See, this is one of the pernicious results of "making family business public", especially when it's a parent doing it for/to a still-developing child. Not only does the kid have to (still) deal with an overbearing parent, they *also* have to deal with random people who don't even know them, judging who they are. As helpful(?) as you might think your comment, it is not.

The hardest thing to deal with when there's a narcissistic (or otherwise appearances-focused) parent is not necessarily the parental overbearingness, but the unsolicited judgments from people who don't even know you. How can anyone say that "she has been successfully robbed of her humanity"? Why do people assume the man is capable of pulling off a hoax, but not the daughter? Growing up I had to play a double game: present a facade to my parents for attack (so they couldn't attack some of the things most important to me), and present a facade to the public when my parents were around, that didn't threaten my parents' egocentric worries about their own appearances. Such as: laughing when I knew laughter was expected from me. Such as when my mother would joke that she wouldn't let me take the Pill because it would turn me into a whore. "Hahaha, my mother's so protective of my innocence, isn't it sweet." True thoughts never spoken to anyone: "I can't wait until I'm old enough to get a decent job where I won't risk being groped and harassed or living on the streets because it pays minimum wage and no one will rent to a 16-year-old and there are no shelters. Then I can finally get out of this mess."

The girl's original Facebook post as read by the father put across a young lady who sounds self-aware enough that this could be exactly what she too is doing.

Broadcasting to the world that a teen who doesn't react the way you think she should react only tells children in this sort of situation that, yes, their parents are successfully destroying/stealing/robbing/whatever their lives. Give kids more credit than that; it is possible to heal from bad parents. At the very least, broadcast that it's possible so they can see that hope has worked out for others too.

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Repeat of my previous post,... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 12:10 PM | Posted, in reply to fragola's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Repeat of my previous post, which I stand by, along with the other posts I made:
Because she's laughing so soon about a traumatic incident=she has been successfully robbed of her humanity. A normal teenager would not immediately do this. A normal teenager would express normal teenage feelings about it.

I forgot to add:
Because by laughing she is providing an emotional facade to make her father feel better, not her. She is mirroring him-we all know what this is, right? And she is trying to make things look good for the world too probably: it's cool, don't get all spazzed, it's alright. And maybe for herself: things are not so terrible, see, I love my parents.

Fragola, you yourself say it is because of your parents you had to present a facade in public and not because of people like me. It's your parents' fault. You're basically trying to say people like me are responsible for activating your parent's issues thereby 'making you work harder' to keep up your appearances. I have a news flash for you. If your parents were as narcissistic as you say, nothing you did mattered anyway. I know you may have knocked yourself out, but my mother is The Supreme Narcissist. So I know that I tried and tried, it took a long time to figure out that of course none of it mattered---she would never be comfortable with treating another person decently because that would be too closer to putting them on the same level as her, and she always had to be on top. So no matter what I did---I used to repeat back to her something she said the day before and say how much I liked it---she’d find a way to deem it wrong.

Your response basically reiterates my response while getting angry at it.

It sounds like you assume what I say about abuse comes from reading maybe one book and never having been there myself. So not true. Many books, many years of therapy, many hospitalizations and then more years of still wanting my family to be there for me the way I thought a family should be.. The hardest thing is to accept them for who they are. It happened in stages but ultimately took, we're talking a couple decades.

Really having 'felt' what I think may be all of it took decades. I notice your post makes it appear you've thought about the abuse, but it doesn't appear you've felt it (or I suspect the emotions wouldn't be directed largely at me). Do whatever you want--just don't expect me to not respond.

I am in no way, as you suggest, responsible for broadcasting it is possible to heal from bad parents. You can do that yourself. I can elaborate if you like, but you'd have to ask. And this girl needs to get the hell out of her parent’s house before healing can even begin to happen.

Another Fragola quote: "The hardest thing to deal with when there's a narcissistic (or otherwise appearances-focused) parent is not necessarily the parental overbearingness, but the unsolicited judgments from people who don't even know you."

Speak for yourself. I would have *LOVED* for anyone to express the slightest concern for me or labeled it as abuse or gotten angry for me. I would have found it validating. It would have reassured me I wasn’t crazy. And I don’t think you’re telling the truth. The hardest thing about dealing with an abusive parent is the abusive parent, not unsolicited judgments, unless they’re negative about you. If that happened, I’m sorry.

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I would like to take a mome... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 12:46 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Veryon: | Reply

I would like to take a moment to point out the use of the phrase "normal." It's not up to use to decide how long a teenager should mourn or process the loss of a laptop computer. Saying she's robbed of her humanity is a bit hyperbolic, sort of similar to her saying she's a slave. It could be extremely healthy of her to adapt quickly to material loss. He didn't shoot her dog. And by account, it is definitely the dogs fault!

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She would not be adapting t... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 1:03 PM | Posted, in reply to Veryon's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

She would not be adapting to a material loss. She's adapting to the fact that her father's insane and scary, as recently demonstrated by his actions.
But to a kid especially, a laptop computer is a significant social outlet, not just a material thing.

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Man, this post is mostly in... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 8:40 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Man, this post is mostly incoherent garbage with a kernel of wisdom. I still love you, tlp, but you must have been drunk as hell. Keep this one out of the book.

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Losing your computer is not... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 8:46 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Losing your computer is not a traumatic event. Being involved in a bombing, having a loved one commit suicide, being raped, are traumatic events. And laughing at the loss of a possession does not make you dehumanized, it makes you the Buddha. If you see this as traumatic, I bet you have a habit of gross hyperbole and histrionic self absorbtion.

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"And laughing at the loss o... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 8:55 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

"And laughing at the loss of a possession does not make you dehumanized, it makes you the Buddha."

Yes. Of course, it makes all the sense in the world, this girl is the Buddha.

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"in a older post TLP critic... (Below threshold)

February 24, 2012 10:39 PM | Posted, in reply to Eipa's comment, by Washington: | Reply

"in a older post TLP criticises Matrix as the last escape of an narcissistic cinephile growing old"

For fuck's sake

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Right on, bro. ... (Below threshold)

February 25, 2012 3:24 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Right on, bro.

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I saw this on craigslist an... (Below threshold)

February 25, 2012 7:35 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I saw this on craigslist and thought you'd appreciate it. Think of it as exposure therapy. It's for you!

My soul is torn wide open, my mind in peril. how to move on.how to overcome the fear that's clinging to the depths of my being. The lights cannot break away the darkness for all i can see is black. My heart screams for your touch and your warmth while it begs for your release. the waves of emotions crushing the dreams we shared. My body is as weak and fragile as my mind. the void left is a bottomless abyss filled with smiles and tears.i cannot seem to keep my head above water. I'm drowning in the wake of us. the undertow pulling me down with no one to reach out to pull me up .how far will i fall? .my soul is torn.

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So, if I follow, once the g... (Below threshold)

February 25, 2012 9:09 PM | Posted, in reply to Jonny Velocity's comment, by someguy: | Reply

So, if I follow, once the guy posts his video nothing I do makes any difference as regards whether he is rewarded for posting it?

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The only thing I have to sa... (Below threshold)

February 26, 2012 1:11 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

The only thing I have to say about society, this is from Erica Jong:

Every country gets the circus it deserves. Spain gets bullfights. Italy gets the Catholic Church. America gets Hollywood.

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It's OK Not to Be OK...Righ... (Below threshold)

February 26, 2012 2:40 PM | Posted, in reply to fragola's comment, by Kris: | Reply

It's OK Not to Be OK...Right Now by Mark D Lerner helped me

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To me, what this father did... (Below threshold)

February 29, 2012 1:58 PM | Posted by Asa: | Reply

To me, what this father did is no different than threatening to throw my kids toys away if they do not put them in the proper place. It is all about responsiblity and we all had to learn about being responsible for our own things.
What my kids say and do reflect on me. My daughter is taught to respect herself, her family, and her friends. If she uses fb as a way to tell everyone how horrible her life (and parents) are because she has to do chores, then that is disrespectful to her family. She is also telling her friends it is ok to tell the world how her parents are mistreating her. Ridiculous! These kids need to gain some perspective, as we all had to do while growing up. There are kids being beaten, raped, killed, starved etc. everyday and you are upset because you have to do chores?
The south is totally different. My father would have done this same thing in a heartbeat, then he would have spanked me. Guess what? It sucks, but I would have deserved it. We should have respect for our elders. I ranted when I was a teenager, but it was in a journal or to my friends, not on a public forum.

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Actually, if your ki... (Below threshold)

March 1, 2012 6:39 PM | Posted, in reply to Nando's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply


Actually, if your kid is on facebook, they can fung themselves for a lot in their future -- a lot of kids post images of themselves drinking or smoking illegal drugs. And given that a lot of employers are looking up applicants on FB, it's not a question of IF but WHEN those pictures and posts will haunt you on a job hunt. Not just doctors and lawyers but anything where you are doing something important, or where a certain attitude to unions might be contrary to what an employer wants.

It's one reason that kids shouldn't be on FB.

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Dear TLP,I love yo... (Below threshold)

March 4, 2012 6:57 AM | Posted by oarabbus: | Reply

Dear TLP,

I love your social commentary, and your blog in general. But I want to know, will you do any more psychopharmacology articles? I know articles on serotonin and dopamine transporters don't garner huge numbers of hits, but those technical articles are really what drew me into your blog in the first place.

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[i]It wants you to have opi... (Below threshold)

March 6, 2012 9:11 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

[i]It wants you to have opinions, it wants you to "pick sides", "get involved", "take a stand." It doesn't want you to be indifferent, it wants you to love or to hate, rage or lust, so you feel alive-- but always your strongest passions focused on the irrelevant.[/i]

It wants to teach you the controversy and let you "decide" for yourself.

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An aphorism of Don Colacho ... (Below threshold)

March 7, 2012 3:01 PM | Posted by Little Gidding: | Reply

An aphorism of Don Colacho applies here, I think:

La prensa no se propone informar al lector sino persuadirle que lo informa.

(The press does not intend to inform the reader but to persuade him that it informs him.)

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So fucking great.... (Below threshold)

March 12, 2012 9:19 AM | Posted by sam: | Reply

So fucking great.

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This is definitely a nice s... (Below threshold)

March 16, 2012 3:20 AM | Posted by ufone packages: | Reply

This is definitely a nice site. I would definitely be coming back to it again.

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This is definitely a nice s... (Below threshold)

March 16, 2012 3:22 AM | Posted by ufone packages: | Reply

This is definitely a nice site. I would definitely be coming back to it again.
ufone packages

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I live about 40 minutes f... (Below threshold)

March 16, 2012 11:27 AM | Posted by Jill: | Reply

I live about 40 minutes from where this event took place. So it was all over local news, and that's how I saw it. In a public world we now live in, partly thanks to technology, where it is so easy and accessible for anyone to post any kind of video online, I'm not entirely surprised. The dad's moral to me here is "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" Don't agree with what he did. I don't however really put much blame in the teenager, posting her negative feelings and complaining on doing chores etc. It is not uncommon for a teenager to complain about doing chores or complain about her parents. The only difference is she posted it viral. If the father was a better role model and had parented her differently, than maybe this whole situation could have been avoided and never have happened.
My first gut reaction was I said to my boyfriend like that was a little excessive, and why 8 bullets, wasn't 1 bullet good enough, and why one earth is he posting this video to the rest of the world to see?
I know from local news, there were numerous calls to that town's law enforcement, asking police to get involved. But basically it didn't cross the line of legal involvement.
I also did see the family, mother, father and daughter on Good Morning America I believe. I don't know how scripted it was, but basically presented themselves as the one big happy family again. And the daughter spoke and spoke highly of her dad.
You make some really good points throughout your post, and I overall agree with you.

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Does the insanity of Uta Fr... (Below threshold)

March 19, 2012 11:29 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

Does the insanity of Uta Frith on the Block Design Test and ASDs interest you?

http://metascient.blogspot.com/

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I found your article refres... (Below threshold)

March 27, 2012 10:37 PM | Posted by Marcus Andersson: | Reply

I found your article refreshing. Are you a psychiatrist, btw? You sound nothing like the psychiatrists I've met, and I've met a lot. And if you are a psychiatrist, how is this related to psychiatry? All the psychiatrists I've met talk about one thing: chemicals. They kind of sound like the pamphlets on psychiatric drugs, except they often don't know even as much as those pamphlets. And they kind of believe in this bio-model on faith. But not like an open faith, more like a fundamentalist faith. By saying you're the last psychiatrist, I assume you're implying you're the last real psychiatrist who is actually a psychiatrist. But what was that? When were psychiatrists psychiatrists and what did they do? Was it related to medicine?

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He once wrote that "the las... (Below threshold)

March 28, 2012 12:37 PM | Posted, in reply to Marcus Andersson's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

He once wrote that "the last psychiatrist" is from Nietzsche. I tried to find it, but I can't.
I have noticed with psychiatrists that they used to tell me about the neurotransmitters and whatnot, but now, since I say I think it must be brain chemicals when I'm asked why I feel like I do, they have stopped.
Want your shrink to stop doing something? Perhaps agreeing with him will work. Actually, if anyone has any understanding as to why they are often so disagreeable, (at least towards me) please let me know. I'm beginning to wonder if my theory---you're as well as you're gonna get if/when you start getting tired of putting up with them---is right. It's quite a bit less of a realization than I would have hoped for.

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I think you're right about ... (Below threshold)

March 28, 2012 1:23 PM | Posted, in reply to Anonymous's comment, by Marcus: | Reply

I think you're right about being agreeable. I think the reason they are disagreeable is that they are defending their profession and livelihood. It would be very demoralizing to say that what they've done is worthless or not based on science. When I was a child, I had extreme anxiety problems, and I believed they stemmed from dystonic sexuality, namely I didn't want to be gay. I had such attacks of anxiety in school I couldn't sit through classes in school. It was Hell. I eventually saw a psychiatrist who put me on Ativan indefinitely. He didn't believe in therapy. I had no idea as a child that Ativan was addictive, and I guess he didn't either. I still take Ativan to this day, a decade and a half later. I am terrified of coming off of it, and none of the doctors I see are terribly interested in me coming off of it either. None of them have ever said that I have gotten bad treatment from psychiatry, and I don't think they can. Because it's what they do, as well.

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I'm sorry that happened to ... (Below threshold)

March 28, 2012 1:45 PM | Posted, in reply to Marcus's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I'm sorry that happened to you.
Hm. I hear what you are saying. I will have to think about it but I appreciate it. I feel kind of damaged from some psych experiences and it's hard to figure out, so thanks for the info.
Re: Ativan. Probably you know this already, but what I read about it some time ago was that tolerance develops rapidly. So if you've been on it a long time at the same dose...maybe that could mean it's not doing much...although I suppose that wouldn't be at all equal to the withdrawal not being hard. I bet that's a totally different thing. I was only on it a week and the withdrawal was hard. I was super awake from the withdrawal, but not manic. I didn't like it.

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How is the Ativan hurting y... (Below threshold)

March 29, 2012 6:13 AM | Posted, in reply to Marcus's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

How is the Ativan hurting you Marcus?

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Well, taking Ativan on a co... (Below threshold)

March 29, 2012 12:07 PM | Posted by Marcus: | Reply

Well, taking Ativan on a continuous non-stop basis means that it doesn't work for you when you need it. For example, an oral surgeon tried on three different occasions to put me to sleep in twilight sedation and could not. If I were to go on an airplane, I couldn't really take more medication than I am, and even if I did up my dose, it doesn't have more effect.

Another big issue is that I have amnesia about a lot of my life, along with a feeling of surreality and lack of identity. I have memory issues about simple things, as well.

Finally, as far as I understand it, a person in my position would have a torturous time trying to ever withdraw from the medication. I continue taking my medicine to not go into withdrawal. I am trying to rebuild my life and I have been taking classes and just started a full time job, while I have gone down on my Seroquel dosage somewhat. I have not undertaken an attempt on reducing the Ativan as of yet. I have read such horror stories about it that I am scared to. People do die from withdrawing the wrong way. I've read about this happening to prisoners when they're prescriptions are taken away awaiting review. I have read about the best ways to withdraw (cross tapering to Valium and reducing slowly over years). However, the problem is that psychiatrists I have seen (and I've seen many) aren't even aware of the problem of benzodiazepine tolerance and addiction let alone the methods for withdrawing. In my experience they don't even understand how these drugs work. I live in an area where medicine is very uncompetitive and particularly so for psychiatry. Most of the doctors in my area of the US are foreign medical school graduates.

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I know what you mean. I had... (Below threshold)

March 29, 2012 2:03 PM | Posted, in reply to Marcus's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

I know what you mean. I had memory issues from it. I was on Ativan 2mg every 4 hours in the hospital and there is a lot I would normally remember---such as what I ate, whether I ate, and whether the food was good---that I don't recall at all. I'd never been on it, but the psychiatrist put me on it even though you aren't supposed to take it if you might be pregnant, which I thought I might be. He ran a pregnancy test after putting me on it, but I would have vastly preferred he not do it at all or go for informed consent at least. You can't take lorazepam/Ativan if you are in early pregnancy. It just made me think they all don't know what they're doing/doing whatever is convenient...FOR THEM. Very upsetting.

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Marcus,Thanks for ... (Below threshold)

March 29, 2012 4:34 PM | Posted, in reply to Marcus's comment, by Anonymous: | Reply

Marcus,

Thanks for the detailed response. You're in a tough situation with that med, and it must be galling to have been put there by people you were trusting to make you better. I have been taking Ativan for about 20 years now, but pretty low dose: 1-2 mg per day. I tried to stop after about 10 years, and it was absolutely unbearable. I figured I was hooked for life, but oddly, about five years ago, I was able to stop the Ativan without even trying. I had an entire summer with no obligations whatsoever, living in a very safe place (physically and mentally). After a few weeks I just wasn't needing the pills. Zero withdrawal. I was astonished. Unfortunately this happy situation came to an end, and though I did my best to cope without meds, by October I was back on the Ativan. Whatever it is I just can't handle the furnace of life without help.

Also, for what it's worth, I have a friend who is an anesthetist and he once said (quite confidently) that they could put you under regardless of your benzo intake, as long as they know exactly what you are on. But he was talking about general anesthesia, not twilight, so I'm not sure what your options are there. But at least you won't have to endure any major surgery 18th century style.

Best of luck with the new job.

G

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I really like examining and... (Below threshold)

April 8, 2012 11:55 PM | Posted by buy-mlbjerseys: | Reply

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Its such a nice site, i'am ... (Below threshold)

April 18, 2012 9:00 AM | Posted by Pan Verification: | Reply

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my feeling is that this vid... (Below threshold)

May 28, 2012 4:15 PM | Posted by Leon Jesmanowicz: | Reply

my feeling is that this video is most likely fake and done simply to get attention (where it suceeded). If it was real I don't see how somebody angry enough to "shoot" a computer would have the forethought to tape it. It would have most likely happened in a moment of anger as opposed to a pre-meditated filmed action.

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+1000. Minuses for this:</p... (Below threshold)

August 17, 2012 1:25 AM | Posted by isomorphismes: | Reply

+1000. Minuses for this:

the system has won, not because it wants Romney but because it wants to minimize your political involvement to voting

I think you know the system is subtler than that. I sense you maybe wanted a clean finish and accepted less than perfect, am I right? But whatever: what you're writing here is amazing. A red pill indeed.

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"Think about how little rag... (Below threshold)

December 18, 2012 11:43 PM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply

"Think about how little rage you feel for the 99% prevalence of incest in an inner city."

While it is true I feel little rage for that phrase, I also don't know what the hell it refers to, and my online searching yielded no answers.

Sounds like you read something you were referring to. So, how about a link? 99% rate is pretty high. If that is the rate of incest, yep that would be outrageous. But it turns out that I didn't read the same article, report, or whatever was required to get that reference.

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Dear Anonymous: I hate to t... (Below threshold)

December 19, 2012 4:09 AM | Posted by Jennifer: | Reply

Dear Anonymous: I hate to tell you this, but the 99% incest number is intentionally wrong. If you couldn't infer it from the "99% incest" part, he says not three lines down that "rage isn't about quantity, but about certainty," which is the point of that paragraph/fake statistic. Before running off to google, perhaps consider rereading the paragraph?

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January 14, 2013 4:28 PM | Posted by matthew: | Reply

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