The New York Yankees: Mission Accomplished

The House that George built.
I hate to say this, but we simply don't deserve to win.
The Yankees have made some serious mistakes in the League, and they've never taken any responsibility for them. Yankees fans ignore the mistakes, forgive the missteps, and turn a blind eye to everything, simply because it's their team. They conveniently forget the 80s, the steroids, the domestic violence, the racism. They're nothing but fans.
The reporters are equally to blame, they have completely given up on objectivity. Ever since they were allowed to travel with the players and enter their lockerrooms, they've become extensions of the teams. They seem objective, but all they care about is maintaining their privileged access to the players, and if that means doing a fluff piece on A-Rod boning Kate Hudson instead of looking into Congressional perjury charges, well... It's sickening, we should be ashamed, but we're not. And they call Erin Andrews a reporter? She gives new meaning to the word embedded. They use her breasts to hide the fact that she's just a cheerleader which I realize doesn't make any sense, but that's what's stuck in my head. You know?
No one seems at all concerned that the guys who call the games are all former players and coaches. No one calls them out on the obvious conflict of interests. You read about a game or listen to it on the radio, you think you're getting objective information, but how do you know? "Strike 3!" Really?
No one seems surprised that the national newspaper of record is called the New York Times. Hello? Is anybody getting this? I'm sure the Houston Chronicle has a different perspective, but we deliberately suppress other viewpoints. I challenge you to even find a copy of the Houston Chronicle anywhere in the city. Try and write a story about how power is being transferred from Steinbrenner to his sons, and see if you're ever allowed in a ballpark again. So much for discourse. So much for dissent.
Most Yankees fans are completely blind to the fact that the rest of the world hates us.
If nothing else, the Yankees have been guilty of arrogance. What makes us so great? That we have more money to spend on their team? We may have a superior record, but that has to be looked at in the context of our ability to spend more money. The Yankees can just buy whatever talent they need. And Yankees aren't smarter or more sophisticated than other players, they just have better equipment, better facilities. How the hell are the Mariners going to compete? It rains there constantly. The Yankees are just steroid fueled schoolyard bullies. The Yankees are the United States of baseball.
Funny how while we're busy destroying every other team, we ignore the fact that our players all come from those other teams. It's not like we have any native talent, we're a ballclub of immigrants. But you won't hear that on ESPN.
Let's not forget a fundamental truth: yes, we're New Yorkers and we love the Yankees, but that's an accident of history. If we had been born elsewhere-- if we were born in Houston, we'd be Astros fans, and every time a Yankee got pulled over for a DUI or got their head taken off by an errant fastball we'd ejaculate in our pants.
If we want to be respected throughout the world, not just feared, we have to come together, come to understand that we're not just Yankees, but baseball fans, and we have to respect that unity above all.
Look, what happened in 2001 obviously was a tragedy. Of course I'm not saying I'm happy Arizona decimated us 4 games to 3, I'm not saying I want it to happen again, I'm not saying we deserved it, but... I understand.
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http://twitter.com/thelastpsych
October 26, 2009 5:42 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Robinson Cano was a Staten Island Yankee in the minors. That's native talent...purchased for a sum, etc, but still native talent.
Though it's a lovely little metaphor how a city built on starry-eyed immigrants produced a baseball team picked gathered from the four corners of the US, it is important to remember that MLB is the only one that really comes out on top, no matter which team gets the ring.
October 26, 2009 5:48 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Maybe you missed the memo on this one, but YANKEES SUCK!
Sorry, had to do it.
October 26, 2009 5:49 PM | Posted by : | Reply
"If nothing else, the Yankees have been guilty of arrogance. What makes us so great? That we have more money to spend on their team? We may have a superior record, but that has to be looked at in the context of our ability to spend more money. The Yankees can just buy whatever talent they need."
Well...to play devil's advocate here, the Yankee management does do a great job of spending a lot of money well. Their investments and trades rarely blow up in their face spectacularly, if at all. They didn't...oh...I don't know...sign a guy who cost 5 million just to talk to who, instead of putting up no-hitters and racking up wins, was quickly dropped to AAA on "rehab". Or bet big on two old National League pitchers far past their prime and take devastating losses. Compare that to the acquisition of someone like A-Rod or Teixeira who have paid out. The damn Yankees are good with their money, and that does count for a lot.
Course this little digression ignores the whole allegory behind this post in favor of splitting hairs about the literal part...but whatever. Nice one by the way.
October 26, 2009 6:13 PM | Posted by : | Reply
I'm glad you're covering your ass because the phillies are going to win.
October 26, 2009 6:17 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Unity? Yankess fans? Ha! You're Yankees fans! You suck!
October 26, 2009 7:30 PM | Posted by : | Reply
the yankees are not good with THEIR money, they are good with OUR money. those cocksuckers took hundreds of millions to build their new stadium, when steinbrenner is sitting on a fucking mountain of money. he can go die in a fire.
you said it well when you called them The United States of Baseball.
October 26, 2009 8:44 PM | Posted by : | Reply
I grew up in the south, somewhat annoyed by but mostly indifferent to the Yankees. Then I went to college in Baltimore and learned to properly hate the Yankees. Yankees suck!
October 26, 2009 10:36 PM | Posted by : | Reply
What's all this "we" business? "We" have no right to be there, "we" have no right going to the Series...I don't recall you making a full disclosure of your association with the Yankees.
"They're nothing but fans."
I don't get the point of this sentence. Who would you have them be? Well-informed and objective upstanding citizens? If that were the case then no team would have any fans. All the complaints you have re: scandal - I could pull any professional team out of a hat (especially one that's been around more than 15 years) and there would be numerous scandals involving the team and/or its members/staff. But they still have their fans who know that in sports loyalty is number one, so they're still around. (This explains why the Clippers are able to sell any tickets whatsoever.) And all the complaints about the money spent on the Yankees - where do you think a chunk of that money comes from? Oh yeah, the fans. But they're just fans.
The Yankees are no different from any other team. Your observations about reporters, newspapers, commentators are as applicable to the Green Bay Packers or the Denver Nuggets. The Yankees are just more popular - and that's part of the fun for the haters - let's everyone band together and hate the most popular girl in school. The rest of MLB fans are like the kids who play Dungeons and Dragons in their grandmother's basement.
Did someone else ghostwrite this entry? It doesn't sound like you at all. Usually your criticism is very reasoned, measured, and organized. This just sounds like a venting bitchfest over cocktails. But the Yankees tend to bring that out in people.
(And just for the record - I'm a Toronto fan. i get the pleasure of watching my team get their ass kicked week after week, often by the Yankees. I just think it's funny when people take things so personally when it comes to that particular team.)
October 27, 2009 12:42 AM | Posted by : | Reply
I mean, you don't actually think he's talking about a baseball team, do you? Even if he thinks he is, he's not. And I don't think he thinks he is.
October 27, 2009 12:46 AM | Posted by : | Reply
Recall that Obama was burned in effigy in Afghanistan yesterday. This post is not about a baseball team.
October 27, 2009 7:05 AM | Posted by : | Reply
Yep, I got the deeper meaning too. For me it was reading "I'm sure the Houston Chronicle has a different perspective, but we deliberately suppress other viewpoints." Then again, I live in France, where I have access to the printed (not talking about websites here, but actual papers) Financial Times, the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Guardian, Los Angeles Times, El País, Die Zeit, Die Welt, Der Spiegel (weekly magazine, but always in the paper racks), Il Corriere, and a few others I've forgotten, in addition to national and regional French papers, including ones from Corsica and the Bordeaux region (I live in southeastern France), at the tiny little press shop in the small town of a couple thousand people where I go to work every day. Granted, it's a town with an international presence, but I've been able to find the NYT, WSJ, FT, Guardian, País, Corriere and Spiegel in tiny villages in Savoie too.
Could an American in a US city of even 50,000 find Le Monde or Libération outside of specialty stores or, if lucky, the local university library? Okay, foreign languages, maybe a bit too difficult - The Guardian? The Financial Times? (The FT is from the UK.) Trick question since I grew up in an American university town of 50,000 and already know the answer... had to go to the university library, and couldn't take it outside. (Our public libraries didn't have subscriptions to int'l papers since they knew the university did. Hopefully non-university cities' public libraries carry a few?)
October 27, 2009 7:29 AM | Posted by : | Reply
No one seems surprised that the national newspaper of record is called the New York Times.
Er, no. The national newspaper of record is the Wall Street Journal. But, that's also in NYC. Just because the times claims to be, doesn't make it so.
and, "Look, what happened in 2001 obviously was a tragedy." theskepticalshrink is on to Alone's sleight of hand.
October 27, 2009 11:42 AM | Posted by : | Reply
OK,
:Mission Accomplished
The House that George [W. Bush] built.
"Most Yankees fans [Americans] are completely blind to the fact that the rest of the world hates us.
October 27, 2009 1:23 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Thanks a lot, Alone. As a Red Sox fan, I could never fathom a vehicle for appreciating the Yankees... Until now. Go Empire!
October 27, 2009 2:08 PM | Posted by : | Reply
I don't understand why this post exists.
Possibility 1: It's actually about the Yankees, Alone just decided to take some time to express the complex sense of guilt he feels in supporting his team, much the same way I express pseudo-guilt before I gorge myself on delicious and nutritious food that might benefit, idk, homeless people, starving children, or Lindsey Lohan much more.
Possibility 2: It's metonymy for the United States of America, wherein Alone expresses his complex guilt at being part of a country that, while winning, might not "deserve" to win. Also noted are the ways in which this unsatisfying sense of victory avoids being completely ruined by the suppression of different views, and how various negative trends (the establishment of dynasties, abuses of power) have taken root that make the Yankees/America hated by everyone who is not a fan of the Yanks (see what I did there? Two can play at that game).
Asides from an interesting parallel in timelines (oh, the eighties, oh 2001-- "decimated" 4-3? Surely you can't be talking about something far more worthy of the term "decimation" that happened in New York, in 2001), the Yankees as a metaphor for the U.S. is kind of... old, and obvious.
Everyone knows that the world's perception of the U.S. is at odds with its perception of itself. Maybe the "Yankees" don't "deserve to win", or maybe your perspective is just as skewed as everyone else's-- if it's possible to come to such widely divergent perspectives on a baseball team, then how could anyone come to any sort of conclusion on a country of three hundred million people, some of whom are just normal folks and not narcissistic, complexly-guilty New Yorkers?
October 27, 2009 2:43 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Look, what happened in 2001 obviously was a tragedy. Of course I'm not saying I'm happy Arizona decimated us 4 games to 3, I'm not saying I want it to happen again, I'm not saying we deserved it, but... I understand.I feel bad that it took me until the last paragraph to notice this was supposed to be a metaphor. I definitely had to read it a second time. Guess that's a good example of how not to passively read L.P...
On the second reading it was painfully obvious what was being implied, but without their morning coffee or reading the comments I can sympathize with the people who miss out on this entry.
October 27, 2009 4:02 PM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
"I mean, you don't actually think he's talking about a baseball team, do you? Even if he thinks he is, he's not. And I don't think he thinks he is."
Well maybe he should just talk about what he's 'really' talking about then. The Yankees/America parallel seems pretty clear, but since I don't know and never will know what TLP was 'really' thinking about when he wrote this, I'm just going to address what he *actually* wrote (then you guys can try to figure out what I really meant, even if I didn't know what I meant).
"They conveniently forget the 80s, the steroids, the domestic violence, the racism."
"The reporters are equally to blame, they have completely given up on objectivity. Ever since they were allowed to travel with the players and enter their lockerrooms, they've become extensions of the teams."
Do the Yankees deserve special blame in these areas? To me these are charges against the MLB, not just the Yankees.
"You read about a game or listen to it on the radio, you think you're getting objective information, but how do you know?"
Most people KNOW they're not getting objective info, in fact they actively search out subjective info (ie people who listen to the playoff games on 880AM while watching on TV to hear their home announcers instead of Buck and McCarver or people who read yankees blogs instead of other more objective sources). No one's being fooled, they just don't really care about getting objective analysis most of the time. If they want objective analysis there are online sources they go to which provide it.
"What makes us so great? That we have more money to spend on their team? We may have a superior record, but that has to be looked at in the context of our ability to spend more money. The Yankees can just buy whatever talent they need."
There's definitely some truth here, but it's a convenient argument the year the Yanks go to the WS! The yanks have had the highest payroll in baseball every year of the 21st century and have yet to win a world series in it.
Lets also not forget New York's other team, the Mets. Same city, 2nd highest payroll in baseball, brand new stadium. How's that working out for them?
October 27, 2009 11:41 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Interesting concept, Alone. A witty examination of how society works, that *doesn't* induce crushing despair. I... think I like it.
October 28, 2009 10:01 AM | Posted by : | Reply
this is very funny. Lost on most ppl, but funny. Since I don't watch sports, but I do pay attn to the creep of international communism, it was apparent to me. Uh oh. now I am gonna get reported to Obama. (don't bother - i nominated myself as a person spreading 'misinformation' about health care, so i am already on the list.)
October 28, 2009 2:18 PM | Posted by : | Reply
As a Houstonian I can tell you that most of us don't give a shit about the Yankees or the Astros. I see more Yankee merchandise fpr sale than I do Astros. There are always the rabid few, but there is no city wide passion for any team. I think as a city we all suffer through heat and humidity together, so we don't need to make up as many artificial issues to "hate". Or maybe we are just too fat to care.
Did I miss the "point" of the post? Turns out I don't give a shit about that either.
October 28, 2009 4:05 PM | Posted by : | Reply
My big problem is the Yankees subcontracting out half their team to the non-MLB sanctioned team HudsonWater. HudsonWater is juicing, physically harassing the other team, and totally just in it for the money and to get their aggression out by swinging at the ball. And they don't get called on it. It's like the rules don't apply to them.
October 28, 2009 4:17 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Damn Yankees! But it's not like George sold his soul or anything. He said he didn't just a couple of day ago.
October 29, 2009 1:46 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Nice to see an allegory that is fully functional at both levels. Makes me miss my undergrad Lit days trying to figure out Spencer's Faerie Queen. My old undergrad reflex would be to go back and read it again to see if there's a 3rd level, or a 4th, or a. . .
October 29, 2009 6:02 PM | Posted by : | Reply
"How many of you cried after game 7 2001?"
So I guess we can joke about it now, at least allegorically
October 29, 2009 10:50 PM | Posted by : | Reply
Canuckistanian here.
Watching the empire crumble is absolutely terrifying, to this patriot of your neighbour and number one ally. The European nations gave up the dream of Classical Liberalism, of Western Society long ago - and who can blame them? Shattered by the aftermath of war, surviving by the charity of the Marshall Plan and the American import of pop culture, let alone their collective shame brought on by centuries of racism and oppression, brought to light by the actions of one failed Austrian artist - I can understand why they fell apart.
But the United States - a country founded by the sweat and blood of Free Men, hard working and educated - to watch that Avatar stumble - it's heartbreaking.
Not to mention the fact that the 2nd string contenders beginning to muscle in on Superpower status fill me with stark terror...
October 30, 2009 11:40 AM | Posted by : | Reply
"If we had been born elsewhere-- if we were born in Houston, we'd be Astros fans, and every time a Yankee got pulled over for a DUI or got their head taken off by an errant fastball we'd ejaculate in our pants."
This is the same arrogance you are arguing against... it is merely wearing a thin veil of humility. Actual humility would be recognizing that if a Yankee gets caught, that no one cares anymore. It's pretty much how things work and no one is either excited or angry.
October 31, 2009 5:39 PM | Posted by : | Reply
geeeezzzz.... you had me goin' for a sec, then I got it, and then you had to go and ruin it by EXPLAINING IT!
whatever happened to "let those who have eyes..."?
but it is kinda funny to read the comments of those who evidently still didn't get it.
July 16, 2010 11:24 AM | Posted by : | Reply
The New York Yankees have won 27 World Series titles, count'em 27! Are you going to say that essentially the Yankees bought them all? What kind of crack are you smoking? The Yankees didn't buy the Series in the 20s, 30, 40, 50s, 60s, and in the 70s. Remember when George bought the team it was worth only 10 million dollars. Now its worth over 1.3 billion dollars! George spends his money to get good players, because he is all about winning, and isn't that the kind of owner you want. Look at all the other owners pocketing that money, and not going out and getting talent. If you need an example look at Pitttsburgh and Kansas City! The Yankees are the number 1 team in baseball, and business. This is fact just read the Wall Street Journal, or Forbes its right there in bold print.
July 16, 2010 11:26 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
They get paid to suck you do it for free!
July 16, 2010 11:31 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
Maybe you should get your facts straight there bud, Steinbrenner paid for the whole thing. The only thing George is guilty of is that he still owes the Bronx for the rent of the old stadium.
July 16, 2010 11:32 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
You just said it you are from the south, so you're probably brain dead anyway.
July 16, 2010 11:37 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
Kinda like Budweiser it says king of beers on the bottle and can, but like you said just 'cause it says it, it doesn't make it so.
July 16, 2010 11:41 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
Just remember people who live in New York, not New Yorkers, but people who immigrated there from the Middle East are most likely terrorists.
July 16, 2010 11:45 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
Theeeeeeeee Yankees win! Theeeeeeee Yankees win! It is long it is far,annnnnnnnd its gone a walkoff homerun by Paul O'Neill and the Yankees win! Any of this sound familiar? It should, it's from Micheal Kay and John Sterling doing the games over the radio, does that sound objective to you?
July 16, 2010 11:48 AM | Posted, in reply to , by : | Reply
Taht's okay, because no one asked you for shit.
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